I have never had the gift of faith. This may seem a strange thing to say for a man who’s spent years doing psychic readings for people, but it is true nonetheless.
I grew up under the influence of my antireligious, agnostic father. When my father died suddenly, it threw me into internal chaos; and not long afterwards, on a beach in New Jersey, I accepted Christ as my personal Lord and Savior. I was seeking community—a safe place to hide from my sexuality, because the covert incest in my childhood family made me feel my body was ugly and bad, and that my homosexuality was something to be ashamed of.
I got involved in a series of Bible-believing Christian congregations: Annapolis Bible Church in Annapolis, Maryland; then, when I moved to St. Louis, Missouri, Grace and Peace Fellowship. (Both faith groups still exist.) I did everything I was told, stayed celibate, studied Scripture, attended services, even went to Bible College and graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Religious Education. The Christian communities I embedded myself in were by and large groups of honest, genuinely committed, kind people who accepted me as one of them and valued the contributions I made to the community.
I spent seven years trying to make the Christian faith work for me. But I seldom if ever felt the sense of relief and connection to God that other converts had described.
When I got into psychic work in my thirties, I felt hope for the first time that reality was bigger and more wondrous than the materialist viewpoint permitted. And I felt hope that the condemnatory religion I had tried to fit into was not the ultimate truth of the Divine.
Now, at 67, I face a daily choice: do I live in the world of my fears and doubts, or do I claim the core truths my spiritual experiences have shown me? For a Feeler type like me, who tends to believe what he feels at the moment, this is a daily challenge. •
The Family comments:
Mister Rand has been feeling recently that his time on Earth may be drawing to a close. He is wondering whether we are real; he is questioning his career choices; he is reviewing his life, as older people do, in preparation for his next encounter with Death.
He is also eating a great deal of chocolate, both for the consoling effects of sugar as well as the endorphin-stimulating effects of certain chemicals naturally present in cacao, the fruit from which chocolate is made.
Nothing impedes him from following his current hopes to their logical end, for there is something within Mister Rand that has tired of the life he has permitted himself in his present body.
He is not actively suicidal. When he engages in his intuitive psychic work and channeling, he is able to set aside his ego-maintained fears and doubts and serve as a clear channel for information and energy of use to his clients. After a client session, Mister Rand is hopeful, for his sense of connection to All-That-Is maintains Itself for a time. Eventually, however, his fears and doubts return, triggered often by loneliness and regret over paths not taken [and loved ones lost to death].
He has given us permission to speak candidly of these issues because he believes admission of humanness will give his readers encouragement to be similarly frank in their verbalization of their inner challenges. But is the doubting, fearful Mister Rand, beloved and love-worthy though it may be, the truest Mister Rand?
We think the answer to this is “No, not entirely.” The truest Mister Rand is the Mister Rand who declares his deepest truths when confronted by the tsunami of materialist, pain-based criticisms so prevalent on the Internet and in skeptics’ literature, criticisms mirroring his own distaste for paternalistic, hierarchical religion that condemns those who are different, and materialist scientism that insists only that which can be reproduced under repeated laboratory conditions can be known to be true.
In his truest self, Mister Rand knows that the spiritual experiences he has had are genuine experiences arising from interaction between Mister Rand’s physically-focused self and Mister Rand’s Dream-self. At core, Mister Rand’s mystical experiences have emphasized several important truths, truths upon which he rests all his hope and certainty.
- We are all ultimately safe.
- Love is the answer to all imbalances physical , emotional, intellectual, and religious.
- Gender is an experience, not a core identity.
- Everything in physical reality changes sooner or later.
- Suffering is neither a sin nor a virtue. The proper response to suffering is acceptance of the experience with intent to learn from it.
- Learning from suffering involves asking questions, and asking for help not only from Spirit, but also from persons who have experienced similar suffering and moved through it stronger than before.
- Suffering, like everything else in physical reality, always comes to an end. It never lasts forever.
- Suicide is not a sin. In many cases it is the logical response to a physical and/or emotional life that has become unbearable.
- God needs no worship, belief, or even thanks, for It is complete in Itself, and desires only opportunities to reveal Its love to us.
- God most often reveals Its love to us through accidental events, and encounters with animals, humans, music, art, and nature.
- Both universal oneness with the Divine and individuality are true.
- You will never have to reincarnate if you choose not to.
- Stories of reuniting with loved ones at death are true.
- Fervent group belief can skew probabilities so that local reality tends to behave in ways that underscore that shared belief.
- Water is Love.
- Fire is Love.
- Air is Love.
- Earth is Love.
- Void is Love.
- You are Love.
- Your best friend is standing quietly right behind you at this very moment.
– Channeled by Rand Lee 2/3/2019, 9:49 PM Mountain Time.