A Message From “The Family”: On Living Without Fear

surrender“Fear is the mind-killer” as one of your writers has said. Fear paralyzes. Fear energizes. Fear eats away at reality, shrinking it until there is no room in it left to breathe. Awareness of fear is the first step in learning to overcome fear. Listening to fear, and learning from it, is essential if one is not to be ruled by fear.

Fear comes from a sense of vulnerability, a belief that something essential can be taken away from one by another. Underlying this meme are the assumptions that there is a difference between self and other, and that self and other are opposed. In fact this is not true in most cases. In most cases, the forces that appear arrayed against one are not enemies at all. They are simply obstacles. They do not threaten out of malign intent. They simply exist for their own purposes, which appear to run counter to one’s own.

Consider the career criminal who makes a habit of mugging old ladies. Or the violent police officer on the lookout for a victim. These are forces of nature, mindless, purposeless, driven by chemistry and morphology to seek out and inflict pain upon others. They are Pan in the Tarot deck, physical reality as God: accidental, unavoidable.

Or so they seem. In fact most terrors can be avoided if they are heeded and learned from.

Mister Rand finds this assertion appalling. He is driven by the belief that those who inflicted pain upon him intended him harm. What he does not understand fully yet is that abusers do not really see their victims. They see only themselves. Abusers are always intent upon destroying something in themselves that they believe has caused them pain, and it is this they are attempting to destroy when inflicting abuse upon their victims.

Mister Rand says, “But for practical purposes they are enemies. It is they who hit, or cut, or rape, or destroy, or gas one to death. You are splitting hairs,” he says. Yet we say that it is useful to separate out the personal from the abuse situation. Much of the true harm of the abuse comes from the abused taking the abuse personally; i.e., believing that I have brought the abuse upon myself because of something bad in me that deserves punishment. Is it not rather that the abuser would abuse anyone over which he or she felt he or she had power? Then your victimization is not the result of anything in you good or bad. You are simply in the wrong place at the wrong time from your viewpoint, like a small creature who happens to stray into a roadway just as a tank bears down upon it.

The first clue to recovery from abuse is as we see it: do not take it personally. You are not the cause, no matter what the abuser has told you. You are simply the convenient outlet for passions and frustrations that have nothing really to do with you at all. This is a hard thing to hear, and harder to accept, for as your psychologists have said, a child would rather be abused by a parent than ignored completely. But abusers do not see their victims. They see only themselves.

We will speak further on this.

— Channeled 6 November 2013.

On Fear: A Message from “The Family”

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Fear is the nursemaid of hate. Fear is the child of understanding only part of the whole picture. Fear is the lover of anger; each feeds the other. Fear, as one of your science fiction writers has stated, is the mind killer. Why, if the multiverse arose from a Void of Love and Light, does fear play a part in physical reality?

Fear is necessary in physical reality because (1) incarnated consciousnesses possess finite brains that find it very difficult to encompass a full understanding of the Greater Self, in whom we are each ever and always safe; (2) because beings with physical bodies need biochemical assistance in order to survive in the everchanging reality of hardedged spacetime; and (3) because physical reality is a young reality that is still learning about itself. This is how we see it.

Mr Rand’s fears are always the same: fear of falling down a bottomless well, in the dark, where no cries can be heard and where no love penetrates, forever and ever. This translates into such lesser fears as fear of poverty, fear of low status, fear of abuse, fear of humiliation, fear of death. But in fact Mr Rand’s fears boil down to fear of abandonment by the Divine Lover of souls.

 

The fact that such abandonment cannot and will not ever happen to Mr Rand is beside the point. The physical brain lays down channels of information processing as it ages, and Mr Rand’s fear channels are well laid down. To balance such learned fear, it is useful to begin laying down new neural pathways of trust and love. And this is best done through a combination of meditation, emotional expression, and physical action.

By meditation we do not necessarily mean formal meditation as practiced in various of your religions, although all such practices have merit in reducing fear. Meditation can be as simple a practice as sitting in the chair and feeling the sunshine warm your skin while you sing a lovely song to yourself. Or lying on the soil and feeling it beneath your feet and hands and knees; smelling it; hugging the earth and imagining yourself as an infant lying upon the chest of your loving parent. Meditation is any practice that takes you out of your focus upon past or future, for that is what fear is: expectations of pain born from past experience, or expectations of pain born from the fears of those around you.

Talking to oneself can also reduce fear. Saying, “I accept that this is how I feel at this moment,” and focusing upon the fear, gently softening around the fear (rather than distracting yourself from the fear through food, television, alcohol, and such diversions) so that it begins to recede. Saying to oneself, “Today I have food, clothing, a place to shelter from the elements, friends, and a sweet black cat named Urdwill” can help bring one’s attention back into the present, where it belongs.

This is not to say that planning for the future is bad. Fear can be a sign that your bodymind knows there are repercussions about to be experienced by you as a result of your failure to plan. But it is important to bear in mind that physical reality always contains within it the element of chance (The Fool in the Tarot deck), and that ultimately no one can control all the events of a life.

So what can one do to live peacefully in a world where pain, sorrow, and grief can exist? One way that is often avoided by Mr Rand is the way of physical consolation. Putting on music, soaking in a bathtub, receiving a massage, asking for a hug, creating beauty through making art or digging in the garden, taking a gentle swim in a public pool until one’s body is pleasantly fatigued—all these actions can help reduce fear, depending upon the forms your fear takes and the surroundings and events that tend to trigger it.

One of the worst aspects of anxiety attacks is the sense that one is completely alone. Yet independence was never the plan for physical reality. Even in the great light reaches, such as the plane of reality we call the plane of light and sound, independence is not possible. The way of creation on all planes is interdependence—asking and receiving; loving and being loved; giving and getting; communicating one’s needs to others until one’s needs are met. Your Jesus said, “Ask and keep on asking and you will receive. Seek and keep on seeking and you will find. Knock and keep on knocking and the door will be opened.” That is how he spoke in the Aramaic of his day, and that is how the Greek writers of the New Testament wrote down his words.

Warnings From the Shadow

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Many years ago a client informed me that I had given her an inaccurate psychic reading. The reason, she said, was that a malevolent extraterrestrial had clouded my perceptions, causing the reading to fail.

Even if one believes, as I do, that psychic abilities and a spiritual reality exist, there are a lot of less dramatic reasons why a psychic might screw up a reading. Wanting to please a client too much is usually mine. But I also have a horror of misleading people, so naturally this phone call disturbed me.

What disturbed me even more was my client’s allegation that invisible aliens can control human minds. This has become a popular doctrine in the New Age community worldwide. ET influence has been offered as an explanation for illness, fatigue, accidents, depression, relationship difficulties and prosperity setbacks. Self-proclaimed ET representatives offer community, identity, excitement, peace and spiritual rescue to those willing to embrace the truth of the UFO underground.

All of this is an uncomfortable mirror of things I was taught when I was a Fundamentalist Christian in the seventies. In those days it was Satan and his demons that I was taught to beware rather than manipulative ETs, and the identity offered me was that of membership in the ranks of those saved by grace from the Last Judgment.

Both doctrines offer the same seduction. Both view the world “out there” as essentially malignant, and view the world inside us as invaded by evil. Both doctrines offer me the promise that someone outside myself can heal me, whether it be a Messiah or a “de-corder” removing my “ET implants.” Both doctrines promise to save me from the pain of being merely human by giving me a new, cleaner, more spiritual, higher identity as one of the reborn or one of the starborn. And both doctrines relieve me of the responsibility for facing the rage and sadness rooted in my childhood which, unreleased and unresolved, is the true cause of my dysfunctions.

It’s all reminiscent of what sociologists call millennial fever. We are still in the first years of the new millennium. A thousand years ago in Europe, on the eve of the year 1001 in the Christian calendar, paranoid doctrines increasingly proliferated. In those days, the invisible enemies were considered Jews, heretics, and demons. Jews, it was alleged, went about poisoning wells at night; heretics sought to seduce the theologically uneducated; demons crouched on one’s bed under the moon and tempted the flesh to rebel against the Creator. The world, the preachers back then said, was coming to an end. Evidence for this was the rebelliousness of youth and society’s increasing immorality, ecclesiastic corruption, and the proliferation of war, disease, and natural disaster. Watch the skies, people were told, for the Lord would soon appear in His glory to rescue the world from End Time horrors.

Now it is polluters, feminists, gay people, pro-choicers, immigrant “entitlement-takers”, crack dealers and bad ETs we are taught to fear in the night. Now it is good ETs we are taught to search the sky for. But both doctrines are fueled by the same unconscious, unresolved traumas.

Maybe it’s because I am an incest and PTSD survivor in recovery that I resist so strongly the notion that invisible ETs can take over my mind. But I don’t think so. I stand by the truth that intuition, reason, and emotional experience have proven to me: that it is I who cast the shadows that seem to pursue me.