A Message From “The Family”: Seasons of the Soul

There are many seasons in the soul. Some are fresh and green; others, old and brittle; others, a rampage of hungers and searches for satiation. When one is caught up in a wash of internal seasonal weather, one can feel cast adrift, out of control, spinning into unknown waters.

At such times, Knowers—those for whom reality is best perceived [and dealt with] via spiritual, religious, intellectual, or scientific practices—often seek to stand back from their [emotional] experiences, observing them [from a distance], whether in meditation or scientific study. Other Knowers may seek to avoid getting in touch with their internal experiences [at all], sometimes even going so far as to insist that humans have no internal consciousness; that consciousness is an illusion manufactured by the chemical factory of the brain.

Consciousness deniers frequently seek solace in their intellectual constructs, which reduce the world to biological process, and treat emotions as no more meaningful than sparks emerging from a car battery, mechanical problems that distract from the broad tasks of pattern assessment and phenomena analysis.

There are Doers, [those for whom reality is best perceived as a series of practical problems to be solved or tasks to be accomplished], who also treat internal experience as unworthy of contemplation, unless they can see its practical applications for survival, task completion, and biological needs gratification. “Of what use is a feeling unless it triggers action of some kind?” these Doers may think. So for them, Love is not real  unless it is expressed in giving another objects of value, enjoyable shared [physical] experiences sexual and otherwise, and enhancement of physical and economic stability and power.

For Feelers, reality is what is experienced internally, and Love is an internal sensation of longing, belonging, and consolation. What to Knowers is a pattern of understanding and identification with the Other, and to Doers is a relationship useful for creating mutual external experience, to Feelers [is what fills the emptiness they feel at their core].

–Channeled October 14-21, 2017

 

Blog Topics For 2015

Welcome to the New Year! I thought I’d run by you my first-ever poll on which topics you’d like to see explored on this blog during the next year. Vote for as many as you like! There’s even a space at the end for you to suggest a topic not covered above. When you’re done, just click on the VOTE button on the bottom right of the poll. Here goes….

Visions of Divine Love: An Audio Talk

Spent last Sunday morning giving a little talk at the Celebration, a spiritual congregation in Santa Fe. I told them about some spiritual experiences that I had last fall. Those of you who are interested in this sort of thing might enjoy giving my talk a listen. Of course, being a Pisces, I got choked up with emotion several times.

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On Thanking One’s Abusers

wolfloveOn November 15th I gave a talk in Santa Fe on the ten levels of consciousness I’ve been blogging about here for some time now. During the meeting I pointed out that all too often in New Age circles well-meaning people tell abuse sufferers to let go of their pain and forgive their abusers, before the sufferers have been able to even feel and find solace for the extent of their inner wounds. I told the group I felt that this pathologized the very healthy rage abuse survivors feel, a rage that if felt fully and expressed safely can eventually lead one to such a strong sense of self that the effects of one’s abuse soften and become part of one’s inner landscape.

In response to this, one attender shared with us his experience of having forgiven his childhood abuser, and how it freed him from the damage the abuse had done to him as no other therapeutic technique had before then. He said he had spoken directly to his abuser and told him, “I thank you for the abuse, because the lessons I have learned from the experience have been so valuable,” whereupon a weight, he said, had lifted from him. (He would not tell us what abuse had been done to him, only that it had been extremely severe.) He shared this in a genuinely nonjudgmental and loving manner. I thanked the attender for his share and admitted that although I have forgiven my parents, I was not at a place where I could say I was grateful for what my abuse history has taught me, and might never be.

During the guided meditation at the end, which I led, I invited the group to join me in raising ourselves from the consciousness levels of Force, Threat, and Blame to the consciousness levels of Acceptance, Understanding, Giving, and Loving. As usually happens when I lead a meditation, I got a lot out of it myself. On this occasion, the purified essences of my birth parents came to me and showed me their acceptance, love, and regret for what their shadows had done to me while they had been alive. Their love for me shone brilliantly, and I let it in. This is the very first time I have ever felt any such connection to them, and I was flabbergasted by the experience; it came entirely unexpectedly, on a wave of attar of rose (a diluted essence of which I had passed around the room therapeutically).

Today I have been lonely, isolating, and eating compulsively. I napped and dreamed of Blessing, my dead husky: of a ridge where a crowd of people was gathered, all with their backs to me. I moved among them and saw beyond them thick dense woods, and I knew that Blessing was running free in the woods. And I longed for her, and called to her, hoping she would hear me and come back to me. I awoke in a bad sweat. Is this what happens when we let Love in, that it stirs up the next layer of grief sediment in an effort to flush it from our systems? It seems so.

Thank you, housemate Leo Richard, for letting me take care of your big brown dog Horseshoe today. Playing ball with your dog, and hugging him, and giving him pieces of chicken, I felt a connection to Earth and Earth love, and it consoled me. Mother of Wolves have mercy on all of us, your cubs, and bring us safe home to Your den when our time comes. Amen.

To Know That One Already Has

gleeTo Know That One Already Has is the tenth and most creative level of consciousness available to beings in physical reality.  It is a divine state of sureness in which one knows that one possesses everything one needs, has needed, and will ever need to overflow with happiness, safety, and joy. I know it is possible to experience such a level of consciousness while still in physical reality because I experienced such a state once, during a vision that came to me while I was working as office assistant to an environmental lawyer (see my blog entitled “To Love”). In this vision I felt suspended in a sea of light which knew me utterly, supported me without question, and desired nothing from me. At that instant I felt safe for the first time in my life, and I burst into tears of relief. At that instant, I knew that I already possessed everything I needed for happiness and joy. I felt complete.

It was not a state in which I was able to remain. I was and am still too bound up with my force, threat, and blame wounds to do that. But I know that, having experienced once, the consciousness of my completeness remains within me available to me again when I am ready for it.

Since I had this experience I have run into other people who have had it, too. Some of them have experienced it while on drugs; others, in meditation. Many religions report mystics,  saints, and devotees experiencing such states of completion, and record the ecstasies that arise from the experience of such states.

The state of knowing that one already has is, I believe, our true state. It is a deep state of rest. And that is why some mystics, saints, and devotees can demonstrate, while still in the physical body, acts of divine compassion and apparent self-sacrifice. I say “apparent” because, when one has achieved awareness of one’s essential completeness and safety, one knows, deep down in one’s core, that food, clothing, status, money, physical possessions, even the body itself, are not who one really is. They are accompaniments, adornments, temporarily useful perhaps, but ultimately releasable because I recognize the real me already possesses—and always will possess—deepest, eternal safety within the Divine Heart of Love.

Self-sacrifice that arises from the consciousness That One Already Has is very different from self-sacrifice that arises from force, threat, or blame. Force, threat, and blame triggered self-sacrifice is an act of violence against the self, a decision to deny oneself what one needs for happiness and joy so that others will prosper instead. And such self-sacrifice is invariably accompanied by buried resentment. Psychologists sometimes call a pattern of resentful self-sacrifice “codependency“: an addictive pattern of denying myself what I need in hopes that my giving to another will prompt him or her to give me what I need.

And so the cycle of self-examination continues, leading me back again and again to the necessity To Accept With Intent To Learn, so that I might Understand Physically, Understand Spiritually, Give myself what I need, and ultimately Know That I Already Have everything I require for happiness and joy: Love Itself, Who is eternal, changeless, undiminishable, and intensely, supremely personal.

On Fear: A Message from “The Family”

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Fear is the nursemaid of hate. Fear is the child of understanding only part of the whole picture. Fear is the lover of anger; each feeds the other. Fear, as one of your science fiction writers has stated, is the mind killer. Why, if the multiverse arose from a Void of Love and Light, does fear play a part in physical reality?

Fear is necessary in physical reality because (1) incarnated consciousnesses possess finite brains that find it very difficult to encompass a full understanding of the Greater Self, in whom we are each ever and always safe; (2) because beings with physical bodies need biochemical assistance in order to survive in the everchanging reality of hardedged spacetime; and (3) because physical reality is a young reality that is still learning about itself. This is how we see it.

Mr Rand’s fears are always the same: fear of falling down a bottomless well, in the dark, where no cries can be heard and where no love penetrates, forever and ever. This translates into such lesser fears as fear of poverty, fear of low status, fear of abuse, fear of humiliation, fear of death. But in fact Mr Rand’s fears boil down to fear of abandonment by the Divine Lover of souls.

 

The fact that such abandonment cannot and will not ever happen to Mr Rand is beside the point. The physical brain lays down channels of information processing as it ages, and Mr Rand’s fear channels are well laid down. To balance such learned fear, it is useful to begin laying down new neural pathways of trust and love. And this is best done through a combination of meditation, emotional expression, and physical action.

By meditation we do not necessarily mean formal meditation as practiced in various of your religions, although all such practices have merit in reducing fear. Meditation can be as simple a practice as sitting in the chair and feeling the sunshine warm your skin while you sing a lovely song to yourself. Or lying on the soil and feeling it beneath your feet and hands and knees; smelling it; hugging the earth and imagining yourself as an infant lying upon the chest of your loving parent. Meditation is any practice that takes you out of your focus upon past or future, for that is what fear is: expectations of pain born from past experience, or expectations of pain born from the fears of those around you.

Talking to oneself can also reduce fear. Saying, “I accept that this is how I feel at this moment,” and focusing upon the fear, gently softening around the fear (rather than distracting yourself from the fear through food, television, alcohol, and such diversions) so that it begins to recede. Saying to oneself, “Today I have food, clothing, a place to shelter from the elements, friends, and a sweet black cat named Urdwill” can help bring one’s attention back into the present, where it belongs.

This is not to say that planning for the future is bad. Fear can be a sign that your bodymind knows there are repercussions about to be experienced by you as a result of your failure to plan. But it is important to bear in mind that physical reality always contains within it the element of chance (The Fool in the Tarot deck), and that ultimately no one can control all the events of a life.

So what can one do to live peacefully in a world where pain, sorrow, and grief can exist? One way that is often avoided by Mr Rand is the way of physical consolation. Putting on music, soaking in a bathtub, receiving a massage, asking for a hug, creating beauty through making art or digging in the garden, taking a gentle swim in a public pool until one’s body is pleasantly fatigued—all these actions can help reduce fear, depending upon the forms your fear takes and the surroundings and events that tend to trigger it.

One of the worst aspects of anxiety attacks is the sense that one is completely alone. Yet independence was never the plan for physical reality. Even in the great light reaches, such as the plane of reality we call the plane of light and sound, independence is not possible. The way of creation on all planes is interdependence—asking and receiving; loving and being loved; giving and getting; communicating one’s needs to others until one’s needs are met. Your Jesus said, “Ask and keep on asking and you will receive. Seek and keep on seeking and you will find. Knock and keep on knocking and the door will be opened.” That is how he spoke in the Aramaic of his day, and that is how the Greek writers of the New Testament wrote down his words.