A Message From “The Family”: On the Yearning For Love

homelessmenhuggingMister Rand has been involved of late with much pain concerning loves lost, ignored, feared, or missed.  He wonders whether he will ever find freedom from his inner child’s need to cleave to another and depend upon another totally for his sustenance, a need that has interfered with Mister Rand’s ability to relate to a beloved equal to equal. So he asks, What is it that I am fated for? Am I fated never to find a partner because of my wounds? And we know that many people ask similar questions much of the time.

We cannot provide Mister Rand [with] an answer that will satisfy him emotionally, because from our viewpoint, and the viewpoint of the Greater Self, Mister Rand is surrounded, filled, and made by Love for Itself, just [as] are all beings that exist in physical reality…And from the Greater Self’s point of view, love is never lost. It cannot be lost, because it is the stuff of which realities are constructed. It is reality itself.

But how can this be true? asks Mister Rand. In physical reality there is so much hate and pain. How can Love lie at the heart of all realities when this reality has so much evil in it? And again we say, there is no answer that can satisfy Mister Rand on the heart chakra level. For in part he still cleaves to the notion of God as omnipotent and separate from both Mister Rand and creation itself. And we do not see this as the truth.

As your writer George Macdonald once wrote, God is made of Love in all parts of Himself, and thinks nothing of Himself, but only of how He may woo His Creation back to Himself.  For God does not need anyone to love God. For God, it is enough that you love yourselves, for God does not see the divine nature as separate from you. Love one another and you love God. Love the animals and you love God. Love the trees and you love God. Love those who hate and persecute you, for they are trapped in the endless cycle of force threat and blame which narrows and narrows and narrows their consciousness until the only thing that exists for them is raw unfulfillable need. This state of raw unfulfillable need is what your writers sometimes refer to as Hell, and as Mister Rand knows only too well, one can be in Hell while still on Earth.

But  there is hope. For returning to Love is inevitable. In the end, everyone and everything is safe. Though your corporations destroy this world a thousand times over, it will be reborn. Though your religious individuals quarrel and condemn and are condemned in turn by your nonreligious individuals, beneath all this furor Love is still present. And the way one can know this is true is simply by observing that, when Love is accepted as a foundation for all one’s dealings, all one’s dealings thrive. If Love were illusory, loving others and oneself would not produce happiness and joy. They would produce only hunger for more love. For understand this: the yearning-love of which Mister Rand speaks is not Love in the way we see things.

Yearning-Love is a state of consciousness that arises when one fears to believe that one is worthy of being loved. It is a state of consciousness that arises when one demands that God prove to one that one is lovable by sending one the perfect match. And there is no such creature on Earth or in Heaven except Love itself.

We are sorry that Mister Rand is in pain. We are sorry that he thinks that because he has more flesh on his skeleton than is healthy for him that he is an abomination and desolation; that because he is homosexual God does not want him; that because he did not save his brothers or mother or father or lover or dogs from their illnesses and deaths that he has failed Love. Physical reality is the only reality where pain is available, but its wonders are far more numerous than its pains. One must however be willing and able to see the goodness and love around one, and until one has felt fully one’s force threat and blame wounds, given them a voice, treated them with tenderness and consolation, and cradled them not to cling to them but to parent them as they were never parented, until one is willing to do this, one will feel cut off from the Love that is at the center of oneself and everything else.

And so we encourage all who suffer from unsatisfied longing for love: breathe into your heart and let out the breath slowly. Let yourself relax and soften around the clenched fist within you. Let yourself feel a bit more of the pain you are pushing out of sight, give it a voice, paint its picture, write down what it says to you. And invite Love into it. Try this with yourself for a month, and see how you feel at the end of this time. And we thank you for sharing.

Recorded in trance session, Oct. 14, 2013.

To Know That One Already Has

gleeTo Know That One Already Has is the tenth and most creative level of consciousness available to beings in physical reality.  It is a divine state of sureness in which one knows that one possesses everything one needs, has needed, and will ever need to overflow with happiness, safety, and joy. I know it is possible to experience such a level of consciousness while still in physical reality because I experienced such a state once, during a vision that came to me while I was working as office assistant to an environmental lawyer (see my blog entitled “To Love”). In this vision I felt suspended in a sea of light which knew me utterly, supported me without question, and desired nothing from me. At that instant I felt safe for the first time in my life, and I burst into tears of relief. At that instant, I knew that I already possessed everything I needed for happiness and joy. I felt complete.

It was not a state in which I was able to remain. I was and am still too bound up with my force, threat, and blame wounds to do that. But I know that, having experienced once, the consciousness of my completeness remains within me available to me again when I am ready for it.

Since I had this experience I have run into other people who have had it, too. Some of them have experienced it while on drugs; others, in meditation. Many religions report mystics,  saints, and devotees experiencing such states of completion, and record the ecstasies that arise from the experience of such states.

The state of knowing that one already has is, I believe, our true state. It is a deep state of rest. And that is why some mystics, saints, and devotees can demonstrate, while still in the physical body, acts of divine compassion and apparent self-sacrifice. I say “apparent” because, when one has achieved awareness of one’s essential completeness and safety, one knows, deep down in one’s core, that food, clothing, status, money, physical possessions, even the body itself, are not who one really is. They are accompaniments, adornments, temporarily useful perhaps, but ultimately releasable because I recognize the real me already possesses—and always will possess—deepest, eternal safety within the Divine Heart of Love.

Self-sacrifice that arises from the consciousness That One Already Has is very different from self-sacrifice that arises from force, threat, or blame. Force, threat, and blame triggered self-sacrifice is an act of violence against the self, a decision to deny oneself what one needs for happiness and joy so that others will prosper instead. And such self-sacrifice is invariably accompanied by buried resentment. Psychologists sometimes call a pattern of resentful self-sacrifice “codependency“: an addictive pattern of denying myself what I need in hopes that my giving to another will prompt him or her to give me what I need.

And so the cycle of self-examination continues, leading me back again and again to the necessity To Accept With Intent To Learn, so that I might Understand Physically, Understand Spiritually, Give myself what I need, and ultimately Know That I Already Have everything I require for happiness and joy: Love Itself, Who is eternal, changeless, undiminishable, and intensely, supremely personal.

To Love

Krishna_Embracing_the_Gopis_LACMA_M.77.19.23The ninth level of consciousness is the level of consciousness that I call To Love. It is a level of consciousness that is firmly rooted in all the levels of consciousness that have come before it. In order To Love, one must learn To Accept, To Understand, and To Give oneself what one needs in order To Give to others from an overflow of safety, contentment, and strength (rather than self-sacrificial starvation). For I firmly believe that only when one has been deeply nourished can one possess the strength of self required for truly loving others.

What do I mean by “love” in this context? On a human level, To Love means To Accept As Kin: to accept and treat another as though he or she were a member of one’s own family, a brother or a sister (always bearing in mind that such acceptance does not permit others to treat us with force, threat or blame).

On a nonmaterialist level, To Love means to open oneself entirely to God, to Goddess, to Spirit, to Goodness and Truth Itself. Such love involves the willingness to be totally transparent to scrutiny, because one has accepted and understood oneself in all one’s parts, wounds, limitations, and patterns. When one risks such transparency before God, one can find oneself overwhelmed by a sense of divine love so powerful it can reduce us to tears.

This has actually happened to me. Many years ago I worked as an office assistant to an environmental lawyer who was a devotee of the Hindu mystic Mother Meera. I’d been doing psychic work for many years, but I was in a vulnerable place, having recently lost my lover to suicide, my beloved younger brother to AIDS, and my mother to alcoholism. I was not (and am not) a Hindu, but what I knew of Mother Meera I liked very much; she seemed genuinely kind and giving, a clear channel for grace to those who came to her in Germany for her sessions of silent darshan.

One day, when I was typing away on my IBM Selectric, I heard my boss talking on the phone with Mother Meera’s righthand woman, Adelakshmi. Suddenly I heard him exclaim, “Mother!”, in a delighted voice: Mother Meera had broken into their conversation via a third phoneline, something she rarely did. The moment I heard my boss say Meera’s name, an odd and wonderful thing happened.

I was aware of my body sitting there at the keyboard, and of my boss’s voice talking to Meera over the phone. But simultaneously I felt suspended in a vast sea of light, an ocean that was pure consciousness and personally aware of me. That ocean knew me down to my smallest particle, supported me unreservedly and without question, and—most wondrous of all—desired nothing from me in return, because it needed nothing, being complete within itself. I had never experienced unconditional love before, and I wept uncontrollably sitting there at my typewriter in that environmental law office.

The experience faded, as such numinous experiences usually do. But the memory of it has never faded. I know what unconditional love feels like, and my experience of it has enabled me—rarely, to be sure, and not without considerable vacillation—to have moments in which I have been enabled to show unconditional love to others. And I believe that only by experiencing the divine heart of love in this way can we be raised to the most creative level of consciousness of all: To Know That One Already Has.

NEXT: To Know That One Already Has.

To Give

homelessmenhuggingI began this thread by reviewing the least creative levels of consciousness, those levels that limit most the creative expression of consciousness in physical reality. These consciousness levels I call:

  • To Control and To Be Controlled Absolutely
  • To Force and To Be Forced
  • To Threaten and To Be Threatened  
  • To Blame and To Be Blamed Undeservedly 

To raise myself from these levels of consciousness, all I need do is say, “Yes,” to the reality of my suffering and be willing to learn from my experience. This immediately brings me to the more creative level of consciousness that I call:

  • To Accept With Intent to Learn

Next I needed to understand how my situation came about, including any forces involved in its creation and maintenance. To accomplish this understanding, I found I needed to ask questions: first, questions designed to uncover the physical and psychological processes involved in my suffering; and second, if I required further understanding, questions designed to uncover the broader spiritual, theoretical, or historical processes involved in my suffering. Asking these questions raised me to the next most creative levels of consciousness, levels that I call:

  • To Understand Physically
  • To Understand Spiritually

Now I find myself at the next most creative level of consciousness, the level of consciousness I call:

  • To Give

To Give is a dynamic level of consciousness, one that involves willingness to take any and all nonabusive steps necessary To Give myself the physical, emotional, intellectual, or spiritual resources required for healing the situation that is causing my suffering. Finding such resources almost always involves asking others for help. This can be very hard to do, particularly if I am ashamed of the part I may have played in bringing my situation about or permitting it to come about. Such shame arises from the consciousness level of To Blame. And we have seen already that in order to raise myself from my the consciousness level of To Blame I must accept that I feel this way and be willing to learn from it. This raises me from the consciousness level of To Blame to the level I call To Accept With Intent to Learn, which in turn opens my mind To Understand Physically and Spiritually the dynamics of my shame and readies me To Give myself the help I need to heal my situation.

The wonderful thing is that, once I get into the habit of taking the action to give myself the help I need to relieve my suffering, that attitude of To Give overflows to others. I find an inner strength welling up in me, a feeling of sureness, dignity, and rightness that others see and wish to emulate. Giving from an overflow of enjoyed resources is a very different experience from the kind of codependent giving that many of us mistake for noble spirituality. It raises one immediately to the level of consciousness that I call To Love.

Don’t misunderstand me here: sacrifice has its place in spiritual evolution. But sacrifice as it is commonly practiced by religious ascetics and martyrs often arises from the consciousness level of To Force, and does not, in the end, succeed in healing the endless power struggle that characterizes so much of civilization. (To understand the proper place of sacrifice in the greater scheme of things, see my future blog, To Know That One Already Has.)

NEXT: To Love.

To Understand Physically

magnifying_glassOnce a sufferer has lifted him- or herself from To Control Absolutely, To Force, To Threaten, and To Blame to the consciousness level of To Accept With Intent To Learn, the sufferer naturally moves into the next more creative levels of consciousness, which I call To Understand Physically and To Understand Spiritually. How does one move to these levels? By asking questions.

All human progress, whether personal or public, comes from individuals asking questions. Physical understanding involves asking questions about the physical and psychological processes and elements involved in a situation:

  • Who is involved in the situation?
  • What exactly is happening?
  • When did the situation first manifest?
  • Where did the situation first manifest?
  • How did the situation come about?

And so forth. Asking such questions lifts the consciousness to the level I call To Understand Physically, and the answers can equip one to take practical action to balance, heal, escape from, or exploit a painful situation to one’s benefit.

Physical understanding is sufficient for solving a great many of the problems we face every day. But sometimes our suffering is so great, or the causes of our suffering are so elusive or problematical, that a deeper understanding of our situation is called for. And that brings the questioner to the next level of consciousness, which I call To Understand Spiritually.

The Wheel of Creation: Communication

ImageThe sixth spoke of the Wheel of Creation I call communication. In the Wheel diagram it lies directly opposite the hub from the passion spoke, and this is no accident. When enthusiasm for a project flags, one of the best ways to revive that enthusiasm is to talk about it to someone supportive who shares similar enthusiasms.

Communication also factors into making a dream come true because, since dreams are realized via interdependence rather than independence, I must be able to share my ideal vision with others in order to find resources to help me take action on my dream realization strategies. How I communicate my vision—through words, spoken or written, through images, through groups, through ads, through talks, workshops, or through one-on-one confabs—is important, too. Some visions are suitable for mass marketing and others aren’t. Talking to others who have  realized dreams similar to my own can give me clues to the best way to build a bridge between my heart’s desires and those who can help me fulfill them.

Also bear in mind that some people are doers, some are feelers, and some are primarily knowers. Doers tend to respond to concrete descriptions and bottom line facts: who, what, where, how much, and what’s in it for me? Feelers tend to respond to personal contact, anecdote, and individual reaching-out. Knowers tend to respond to the big picture, subtlety, nuance, and elegantly constructed, patterned presentations.

A final aspect of the communication spoke is the need for me to keep up a running dialogue throughout the dream-manifestation process with my Greater Self. If you are an atheist materialist, you may think of your Greater Self as your rational adult self. If you are religious, you may think of your Greater Self as God, your oversoul, or a spiritual figure for whom you feel a connection. Ask for your Greater Self to send you serendipitous opportunities to clarify your passion, firm your beliefs, refine your strategies, take more efficient action, and find deeper sources of support. Then let go of the need to control exactly how, when, where, and from what direction these opportunities arise. Try it! It works!

— Rand B. Lee. All contents Copyright 2013 Rand B. Lee. Please do not copy, paste, forward, or excerpt  portions of this blog without proper attribution.

The Wheel of Creation: Support

ImageIn absolute terms, the “self-made” man or woman does not exist in physical reality. A person may be self-directed; he or she may be omnicompetent. But no one makes their dreams come true without help. This is the main principle of the support spoke of the Wheel of Creation.

Asking for help is very difficult for many of us. We are taught from earliest childhood to become self-sufficient, and in the dog-eat-dog world of corporate competition, to ask for help is often seen as a sign of weakness and therefore of inferiority. But as a person ages, the illusion of complete self-sufficiency begins to waver. One becomes aware of limitations one was not aware one possessed, whether they be physical limitations (dwindling economic resources, difficulty walking or lifting heavy objects), mental limitations (changing memory storage capacity), emotional limitations (tendency to emotional exhaustion), or spiritual limitations (a long-held world-view challenged by new information).

In making a dream come true, asking for help from other human beings is always necessary, not just once, but many times along the way. Therefore, learning to ask for help effectively is vital to dream-realization.

Asking For Help: Some Guidelines

  1. Write up a flexible, detailed working strategy for making your dream come true, listing for each stage of the strategy questions to be answered,  resources to be gathered, and skills to be mastered or hired.
  2. Drawing upon your experience, your research, and the experience and research of others, identify potential sources of help for each stage of your dream manifestation strategy.
  3. When time comes to approach potential helpers, work out what you are going to say beforehand. The goal is to ask for what you really need to help you execute that stage of your strategy, not what you think you can get.
  4. Ask at a time and place convenient to the potential helper.
  5. Be prepared to offer something concrete in return for the help you are requesting, if only a heartfelt “Thank you!”
  6. If the person or institution approached for help does not respond to your request for help, ask and keep on asking until they (a) turn you down, (b) help you, or (c) refer you to someone else who might be able to help you.
  7. If you are unable to locate help for the strategy-step immediately before you, re-examine your strategy. Is this truly the next step in your dream-scheme, or is there a different step you should consider taking first? Also consider the possibility that your Greater Self sees a broader picture than you do, and may be closing one door only to open another.
  8. Be sure and send the person who helps you a thank-you note afterwards. This will make it far more likely that she or he will be kindly disposed to helping you in future.

NEXT: The Wheel of Creation: Communication

The Wheel of Creation: Action

ImageExternal action is necessary to make my dreams come true. That is, I must take tangible steps to create the physical networks, resources, and structure sufficient to support my dream when I download it from the dream-state into physical reality.

So far, in the first four blogs on the Wheel of Creation, we have dealt with largely internal action steps: passion (recognizing what I truly want), belief (expanding my value and cognitive understanding sufficiently to permit my dream to become a reality), and strategy (coming up with a mental plan for connecting to the resources necessary to download my dream into spacetime). Now we face the task of taking action to actually apply our strategy on a day to day basis until our dream is realized and our passion is satisfied.

Some issues to examine when considering this step:

  1. What specific act can I accomplish today, just as I am, with all my present imperfect resources, strengths, and skills, to get one step closer to making my dream a reality?
  2. If I feel overwhelmed by the idea of taking action, my strategy may be an idealized one that does not begin with where I really am. I may need to go back and refine my strategy so that each step is doable (with help).
  3. If I keep not taking action on a well thought out strategy, it may be that my vision of what I truly want to create is not sufficiently clear, or that its manifestation appears to threaten something I secretly want more. I may need to go back and do the Ruling Passion Exercise to get in touch with what I truly want, not what I think I should want.
  4. Fear can block me from taking action. If I believe that I will be punished for being successful I will tend to drag my heels at applying my strategy. So I must rework my strategy to include steps for acknowledging and working with such fears when they arise.

As a general principle, I tell my clients not to let three days go by without taking a step to get closer to realizing a specific dream. But no matter how hard I work to reach such a goal, I will not be able to do so without support.

NEXT: The Wheel of Creation: Support.

The Wheel of Creation

Image

My trance subpersona, “The Family,” cites The Wheel of Creation (originally channeled by my late partner Stuart Lucker) as a graphic, easy-to-follow, practical format for creating desired experience in Physical Reality. The Wheel is composed of six spokes and a hub, the principles, interrelationships, and criteria of all of which must be satisfied for a given dream to manifest. The spokes at the bottom of the Wheel as drawn represent the daily inner, emotional and mental work that must be done to make a given dream come true. These inward-focused spokes are Passion, Belief, and Strategy. The spokes at the top of the Wheel as drawn represent the daily outer, physical work that must be done to make a given dream come true. These outward-focused spokes are Action, Support, and Communication.

The hub at the center of the Wheel represents overall conditions that must be met for the inward- and outward-focused work to be truly effective. This hub bears two titles: Harmony of Desire and Clarity of Vision.

Many of my clients over the years have found the Wheel a useful tool for project planning and problem-solving, because it can be adapted to any situation. You can use the Wheel to find a job, plan a garden, write a novel, heal a wounded relationship, earn a degree, organize a family reunion, plot a course of addiction recovery, run a business, explore spirituality, and orchestrate a political action movement. You can also use the Wheel to figure out why projects, businesses, relationships, and other endeavors go wrong, or fail to satisfy when they go right. When I try my damnedest to achieve some particular goal, and fall short of doing so, it’s usually because I’ve failed to take into account one or more of the Wheel’s principles.

PRINCIPLE #1: PASSION
According to one view, everything exists because the Divine Heart of Love has a great passion to see Its uniqueness mirrored in an explosion of potentialities. You, I, and everything in this universe continually emerge from Love’s passionate dream of Itself; and that is why Passion is the bottom lefthand spoke on the Wheel of Creation.
In ordinary speech, “passion” is usually employed to mean strong feeling or desire. Bernard de Fontenelle wrote, “The passions in [people] are the winds necessary to put everything in motion” (Dialogues des morts, I, 1683), and it is true that, assuming all the principles of the Wheel are kept in balance, the more strongly one yearns to manifest a certain experience, the more likely one will do the hard work necessary to bring it to birth. But I do not use “passion” here simply as a synonym for “enthusiasm.” Emotions come and go, and the dreamer who depends upon feelings alone to carry him or her over the obstacles often encountered in the course of dream-manifestation will fail to stay the course. The kind of passion that brings new worlds into being is that intense inward focus that springs from complete inner investment in the project at hand. That is what I mean by the “passion” of the Passion Spoke.

The scientist who labors twenty-five years to find a cure for a fatal disease; the struggling artist who perseveres despite the mockery or indifference of critics; the single parent working two jobs to put children through college; the monastic devout who gets up to pray night after night, year after year — each is driven by complete commitment to seeing his or her dream realized, whether it be a dream of healing, of beauty, of love, or of divine union.
But commitment alone is not enough to make a dream come true… (NEXT: Belief)