My late partner, Stuart “Alex” Lucker, channeled a writing exercise designed to help people identify what we want—or fear—most about a certain situation or aspect of our lives. This exercise, which I call the Ruling Passion Meditation, can be applied to subjects we would consider negative. So for this blog post, we’re going to take on the topic of our fears.
The Ruling Fear Meditation
- Number a sheet of paper from 1 through 21 down the lefthand side.
- Set your timer for 5 minutes.
- Now write down everything you are afraid of, big, small, and in between. Write down whatever occurs to you, no matter how you are tempted to deny it. (Only you are going to see this exercise sheet, so you can be totally honest with yourself.)
- The fears you write down might include fears around physical matters such as money, an upcoming vacation, losing one’s job, the roof of your house caving in, screwing up the math exam, contracting a terminal illness, nuclear war, being cut out of mother’s will, bankruptcy, staying fat forever.
- Your fears may include inner, feeling-oriented matters such as a spouse leaving you for someone else; trouble with in-laws; the safety and happiness of your child or pet; rejection by teachers, family, and potential life-partners; feeling alone and unloved.
- Deep intellectual, spiritual, and ethical fears, too, can be listed, such as fear that death is the end and a loving Higher Power is a fantasy; fear you have missed your true life’s purpose; fear you have chosen the wrong profession; fear that your work accomplishments will be derided, stolen, disproved, or forgotten.
- Try to come up with 21 different or related fears, one fear per line. If you can’t think of 21, or if you think of more than 21, list all those you can think of and stop there.
- Next, we’re going to grade the fears by intensity.
- Set your timer again, this time for 2 minutes.
- Read each fear in turn, asking yourself, “On a scale of 1 through 5—1 being the absolute worst, and 5 being simply bothersome—how strong is this fear in me today?” Number each fear from 1 to 5. Go down the list ranking each fear as quickly as possible, guessing if you’re not sure; don’t overthink it.
- Now put a check mark next to all the fears you ranked number 1 or number 2. These are your Ruling Fears, the things, people, situations, and/or outcomes you most dread. Now you can take these fears and work on finding all the support you may need for taking action on how to prevent what you most fear from manifesting.
Next Time: The Family answers your questions (and mine) on any topic of concern.