A Message from “The Family”: Soul Winter

Many individuals periodically undergo a transformational process characterized by a numbing of response to physical events and relationships. This process can be confused with depression, for they bear a certain likeness to one another: lassitude; lack of interest in recreational activities; a tendency to allow personal  cleanliness and grooming to languish. But the transformational process, which we call Soul Winter, goes far deeper than simple depression. It is a process whereby the soul decides whether or not to stay in physical reality.

The bulk of this process is not conscious. That is, the owner of the soul is usually unaware of the decision being weighed by his or her innermost self. But when the decision is finally made, the conscious self may be struck by a sense of urgency, a feeling that his or her time may be running out; or by a feeling of absolute certainty that nothing more can be accomplished or experienced in physical reality that would be worth the effort of doing so.

What happens when a soul decides it is time to shed the body and move on? Often, death takes place, and not necessarily by conscious suicide: an illness that has lain quiescent suddenly worsens; an accident sweeps the body away; another human, apparently randomly, causes the soul’s body to cease functioning. And sometimes the death comes by the soul’s own hand. This happened with Mr. Alex, Mr. Rand’s lover, who took an overdose of pain killer when he had decided that he did not wish the experience of a slow, painful death from AIDS.

Does this mean that every human who dies through illness, accident, suicide, or another’s violence decides to do so? No. Most individuals in those situations are not ready to die, and if they had the power to avert their deaths, they would do so readily. But individuals undergoing Soul Winter are different. Such individuals’ deaths take place after a lengthy process of disconnecting from spacetime, characterized by three stages: comprehensive life assessment; increasing detachment from relationships once treasured and activities once engaged in with joy; and, finally, a release of identification with career, loved ones, and body. Whereupon death usually comes quickly.

And that death can take two forms: physical death, culminating in the soul abandoning the body to the earth; or, more rarely, complete transformation of the personality, including all its passions, its purposes, and the focus of what it wishes to create and experience while still in the body. This latter experience of death while still in the body is often referred to as the “walk-in” experience, in which personality transformation is assumed to be caused by the original soul leaving the body and a different soul taking its place in the body.

While not ruling out the possibility that such a thing might conceivably take place, it is our observation that most cases classified as “walk-ins” do not involve a soul being replaced by a new one, but a soul maturing into its true life-purpose.

Mister Rand asks us why we have selected this topic to write about tonight. It is because the current upcoming winter season will be bringing many individuals into the process of assessing whether continuing in physical reality is worth doing in their present bodies and period of history. And we wish to make it known that suicide, whether conscious and deliberate or via apparently random accident, is not a sin which some God will punish. For God is Love in all parts of Itself, and thinks nothing of Itself, but only of Its creation, and how It can win Its children back into conscious union with It.

Mister Rand expresses fear that our saying this will encourage some readers to kill themselves. We do not expect that such a thing will happen, for most of the readers of this blog are interested in furthering their personal growth while still in the body. We say these things, rather, to offer consolation to any readers who may have lost a loved one to suicide. Your beloved is safe in the womb of the Celestial Mother, a womb so vast that all of physical reality might fit within it. And some day, when it is right, you will rejoin your beloved there.

And we thank you for sharing. •

— Channeled December 7, 2017, 1:04 A.M. U.S. Mountain Time.



A Message From “The Family”: Seasons of the Soul

There are many seasons in the soul. Some are fresh and green; others, old and brittle; others, a rampage of hungers and searches for satiation. When one is caught up in a wash of internal seasonal weather, one can feel cast adrift, out of control, spinning into unknown waters.

At such times, Knowers—those for whom reality is best perceived [and dealt with] via spiritual, religious, intellectual, or scientific practices—often seek to stand back from their [emotional] experiences, observing them [from a distance], whether in meditation or scientific study. Other Knowers may seek to avoid getting in touch with their internal experiences [at all], sometimes even going so far as to insist that humans have no internal consciousness; that consciousness is an illusion manufactured by the chemical factory of the brain.

Consciousness deniers frequently seek solace in their intellectual constructs, which reduce the world to biological process, and treat emotions as no more meaningful than sparks emerging from a car battery, mechanical problems that distract from the broad tasks of pattern assessment and phenomena analysis.

There are Doers, [those for whom reality is best perceived as a series of practical problems to be solved or tasks to be accomplished], who also treat internal experience as unworthy of contemplation, unless they can see its practical applications for survival, task completion, and biological needs gratification. “Of what use is a feeling unless it triggers action of some kind?” these Doers may think. So for them, Love is not real  unless it is expressed in giving another objects of value, enjoyable shared [physical] experiences sexual and otherwise, and enhancement of physical and economic stability and power.

For Feelers, reality is what is experienced internally, and Love is an internal sensation of longing, belonging, and consolation. What to Knowers is a pattern of understanding and identification with the Other, and to Doers is a relationship useful for creating mutual external experience, to Feelers [is what fills the emptiness they feel at their core].

–Channeled October 14-21, 2017


A Message From “The Family”: On Finding the Love You Want

There is a story running about in physical reality that all one has to do in order to be happy forever is to locate, connect with verbally, and interact nurturingly with another human being who embodies every aspect of spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and moral value which the seeker feels is missing from  him- or herself.

beautiful_couple(For the sake of this blog post) we shall call the ideal beloved ‘the Cheese’, and the one seeking the beloved ‘the Mouse’.

Mister Rand is appalled by this analogy. “We are speaking of an intimate human relationship here,” he objects, “not a relationship of predator and prey!” To which we reply, “You could have fooled us.” [<- jest] For in looking over Mister Rand’s shoulder, as it were, while he is exploring different online dating sites for possible suitable partners, we are struck by the preponderance of attribute-lists and photographs presenting the seeker as not so much a person as a tangle of goods dangling in the shop window of the heart. “Purchase me!” cries the tangle of dangling goods. “Purchase me!” But how can one poor tangle of goods hope to attracts purchasers when there are so many other dangling tangles for the tangle-seeker to choose from?

“Ah!” exclaims Mister Rand. “That is where the concept of ‘soul mate’ comes in! If It Is Meant To Be, I shall meet my perfect mate if I simply stay open to the blessings of love.” The difficulty, as we see it, with this concept is multi-fold. Firstly, we see humans as expanding experiential consciousness constructs/vectors, always expanding experience of the One during their time in physical reality. To say that Mister  Rand has a “perfect” mate suggests that at some point in the expansion experience one reaches a state of completion. But we do not see this as the case.


Moon-Pie & I, 2008, Santa Fe, New Mexico

Secondly, we do not see Mister Rand as requiring a savior, because we do not see Mister Rand as, ultimately, in peril. In his vision of November 2013, when his earthly consciousness intersected with the part of him that dwells on the Plane of Light and Sound, Mister Rand temporarily awoke from the dream of spacetime and found himself Home in the deepest sense of the word. He found himself in a “place” so safe that he knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that nothing whatsoever could take from him anything essential to his being and becoming. He experienced reality as a plane of utter Love, aware of him down to the smallest flap of skin on his tricep area, utterly accepting of him, utterly supportive of him, utterly lacking in the slightest need to change, chastise, or vilify him in any way. And It could take this attitude towards Mister Rand because It was complete in Itself, and therefore free to love without stint or condition, requiring from him in return no praise, no worship, nor even thanks.

For Mister Rand, the most striking factor of this experience was the sense of its ordinariness. It felt completely familiar to him, this place of quiet, total, acceptance and support—so familiar that he could not understand how he could possibly have forgotten that this ultimately was Reality. [To mistake] the constantly changing subreality of spacetime [for] core reality felt absurd to Mister Rand.

So to Mister Rand, whom we love, we say, “By all means hang up on the Internet whatever dangling bits you feel proud of and happy with. But do not, we beg of you, seek one who will complete you. You are already complete, and so is he. Seek one who can recognize your beauty and celebrate it, even as you recognize his beauty and celebrate it. For of this is the Kingdom of Heaven. •

— Channeled Monday, August 14, 2017, by Rand Lee.


A Message From “The Family”: On the Theory of An Evolving Deity

rainbow_crystal_eggWhen Mister Rand first entered physical reality in zygote form in the womb of his present incarnation’s mother, he … brought with him into physical reality many experiences of standards fallen short, and his grief and pain over these actions (perceived by him as “failures”) were deeply entrenched in brain and body, so that he literally could not imagine a reality where the concepts of Good and Evil, Beautiful and Ugly, Friend and Enemy, Wanderer and Destination, Beginning and Ending did not hold universal meaning throughout all realities.

Big and small, short and tall, victor/victim,  do you not see that these dualities are only meaningful in Thought Reality? In the other levels of Reality, such as the Physical Planning State, the Dream State, the Nonphysical Planning State, the Plane of Light and Sound, and ultimately, the Plane of the Great Self, dualities slip away and are readily recognized as woefully inadequate to describe the enormous complexities of enfleshment.

But how can this be? asks Mister Rand. In physical reality, pain is real. Cruelty is real. Evil is real. How can you treat these intense negative experiences as neither good nor bad? Or as illusory? They are not illusory. They really hurt. How could a loving God create a universe where such pain can exist? Millions of children all over the world dying of starvation. Justice is one of the faces of the Divine, too. Are you saying that “justice” and “injustice” are meaningless concepts in the quote Higher Realms unquote?

We did not say that these things are illusory. We said simply that they have a reality only in Thought Reality, that reality connected to all minds past, present, and future by your reckoning. As for a loving God creating a universe in which suffering is not only possible but certain, given circumstances, some of your teachers [posit] that God has evolved over the eons of earthly existence, expanding through the levels of consciousness from Force, Threat, and Blame (all the vengeful deities of ancient times) to Acceptance With Intent To Learn; Giving; Loving; and Knowing … One’s true, complete, and immutable nature.

Another way of looking at these matters: that God, having evolved over the billennia into the most expanded consciousness, recognizes that It is not bound by space and time. And so Its expanded awareness is free to proliferate up and down the time stream, throughout all probable universes,  …  [expressing] Itself throughout time and space as though It had always been free to do so. In this way, Divine Love obtains access to all of reality and is free to seek to integrate Its mercies with the entire timestream from the very beginning to the very end (if “beginning” and “end” are words of meaningfulness in this context).

Mister Rand says, This is very complicated. Are you saying that God was once a brute, but having evolved into pure Love, is now rewriting the history of Itself so as to appear always to have been pure Love? We are not saying that deception is involved here. We are positing that the pain and travail available in Thought Reality is a remnant of a Maker less aware of the suffering of Its creation than It later became. And now that Maker, unable to remake what already is, is seeking to bring healing to all of history in all its permutations through the expanding consciousnesses of Its  “little” selves, i.e., the sentient creatures sprung from Its womb who are capable of moral choice and compassionate action.

And so It introduces agents of healing and change into the timestreams, “bodhisattvas” if you will, who emerge, have emerged, and will always emerge at various points in history to bring integration of the divine love-nature into Thought Reality and spacetime experience.

Mister Rand asks, So you are saying that some of us are time travelers sent by All-That-Is into physical reality and Thought Reality to introduce ripples of Love and Light into various periods of history? To which we reply, “That is correct.”

And we thank you for sharing. •

— Channeled 23 July 2017 by Rand B. Lee. All rights reserved.

A Message from “The Family”: On Finding the Center

Mister Rand has given us leave to write about anything we wish, which means we have the task of writing about what he most wishes to hear, since “we” as such do not exist. He has struggled in recent months with a disorientation born of the shock of the Trump person being elected as President of the United States of America. This disorientation, as we see it, is threefold: first, a disorientation of context. The context in which Mister Rand has lived much of his life has betrust_meen one of the United States being at root a well-meaning, generous, adaptive and accepting country, one in which differences are at worst tolerated, at best embraced wholeheartedly.

That this United States has always existed more in intention than in reality does not lessen the impact or importance of this concept held by Mister Rand. He has always felt himself embedded in an America that was, at root, benevolent. To discover that beneath the surface of the mass consciousness there has always seethed a whirlwind of blame, judgmentalism, intolerance, sexism, and social class division has shocked Mister Rand’s idealism into stunned silence.

 Mister Rand’s disorientation is also a disorientation of safety. With the ascendancy of President Trump has, for Mister Rand, come an escalating sense of danger: a keen awareness of the unpredictable nature of physical reality, particularly as regards marginalized populations—gender nonconformists, artists/writers, the poor, the disabled, and those whose skin color does not conform to the standard American norm of heterosexual male Caucasianhood. Mister Rand is keenly aware now, in a way he has not been aware previously, that there are those who would wish him dead simply because he is gay, spiritualist, and possessed of Jewish ancestry.

Mister Rand’s third disorientation is one of purpose. The story Mister Rand has put faith in for many years is that each individual in physical reality is incarnated for a specific reasons or reasons: experiences [that] he or she needs for soul-growth; services that he or she has been called upon to provide to others; and individuals with whom he or she has agreed to collaborate in order to construct and create tools, templates, and systems reflective of the transcendent beauty of the human soul.

Now Mister Rand is uncertain of these matters. Chaos has appeared to ascend in power over him and others, and all bets, as it were, seem off. From our viewpoint, however, nothing has changed in physical reality at all. That is, the ascendancy of President Trump and his followers we see as part of a normal cycle of moral flux, a moral flux that has always existed just out of sight, or mostly just out of sight, beneath the mask of U.S. civil responsibility and ethics. Mister Rand is realizing that his center—the core beliefs around which he has built his worldview—is not one supported by current events. So he is tempted to jettison his core beliefs in the basic goodness of people and the benevolent oversight of Divine Love as idealistic and self-delusional.

To this we say, truth is truth whether or not it is believed by the mass consciousness, and truth cannot be denied forever. To paraphrase a 19th Century Christian writer, God is Love in all parts of Itself, and thinks nothing of Itself, but only of Its creation and how It can win creation back into Its loving embrace. And it takes a special kind of faith and courage to hold fast to this truth in the face of force, threat, and blame as manifested in the surrounding culture.

So to Mister Rand we say, Fear not, neither be dismayed; the vision you experienced in 2013 of the unshakeable, unlosable Love at the center of everything is still true. Open yourself up today to be a channel of that love to those around you, and you will experience small miracles of hope even in the face of death. And we thank you for sharing.

— Channeled Friday, March 17, 2017, 6:30 am MT, Santa Fe, New Mexico USA.

On Seeking Safe Haven


I’ve spent most of my sixty-five years of life looking for a person, doctrine,  or organization that I could build my life around. I started out looking to my parents to fulfill this role. I found early on that I could depend upon my father to provide us with shelter, clothing, food, and the luxuries of upper middle class Anglo life, but that he was largely unavailable emotionally and could not protect me from my abusive older brother. My mother I found I could depend upon to provide me with delicious meals, delightful books, affection, and consolation, except when her alcoholism and borderline personality disorder symptoms turned her manipulative, vindictive, and sexually abusive.

For years I felt torn between the two of them, and my ambivalence took an odd turn.

Mother put pressure on me to choose her over my father, which—let’s be frank—it wasn’t hard to do, given his loud, gritted-teeth complaints, self-isolation, and demands for absolute obedience. But I liked the fact that he was a writer, and I think I sensed his self-loathing, and I identified with him more than I liked to admit at the time. Now in the bedroom they shared, my father slept on the left side of the bed, my mother on the right. So at night I felt torn. If I slept on the left side of my bed, would I be symbolically choosing my father over my mother? If I slept on the right side of my bed, would I be symbolically choosing my mother over my father? So I compromised: I taught myself to sleep flat on my back, a habit I tend to follow to this day.

Once I entered adolescence, I more or less gave up trying to find refuge in my parents’ world and I sought refuge in my private dream world of comic books, science fiction, fantasy, mythology, and chaste fantasies of joining Robin Hood’s band of Merry Men, or being adopted as innocent school mascot by my brother Anthony’s Air Force Academy classmates. When I became aware of my homosexuality, I began fantasizing about finding a Mister Right, the perfect man who, in exchange for my exclusive devotion and access to my body, would console, protect, and give shape and direction to the rest of my life.

The problem was that, owing to incest trauma, I felt sex was dirty—not just homosexuality, but all sex. I got this feeling from my mother. So I decided that I did not want to be sexual at all. After my father’s sudden death in early 1971, I sought out the sexuality-free surrogate family I’d always fantasized about: I became a celibate Fundamentalist Christian for seven years.

The people with whom I worshiped were good people, genuinely trying to live by Jesus’s teachings of love and forgiveness. Although my self-betrayal ate away at me, the love and acceptance they showed me had a healing effect on me. They gave me a refuge from the storm of my life. But in the end I left the church, and Fundamentalism, in large part because I felt I had been putting on an act. Though I was indeed celibate for most of the seven years I was with them, I now know the difference between celibacy, born of lifestyle conviction, and sexual anorexia born of abuse trauma. And I was not the only one who left. Several years ago I discovered that the pastor of the last church I attended had been gay, and had committed suicide because he had not been able to reconcile his faith with his physicality.

All this took place many decades ago. Today, at 65 years old, five feet seven inches tall, and 290 pounds, I am far from healed; I like to joke that I have more issues than National Geographic. But I have a renewed faith in Divine Love, from Whose womb I was born and to Whose womb I shall return, and for Whom my homosexuality is a natural species variation, not a monstrosity or a curse worthy of damnation. And I have been fortunate in meeting numerous fellow travelers, straight, gay, in between, and undecided, whose kindness has consistently reached out to me in dark times.

So if you are tempted to give up who you are to get love, don’t give in to that temptation. Start asking for help, and keep on asking until you start getting it. It can and does get better, but only if you refuse to let your abusers win. •

A Message From “The Family”: On The Beloved Dead

Victorian_seance[On January 27, 1988, I walked into my love Stuart’s bedroom and found him dead on the bed. He and I had been lovers for only 2 years. We worked as psychics together in Key West, Florida and Santa Fe, New Mexico; we met originally when he came to me seeking Louise Hay-type guided meditations for boosting his immune system. One day, during such a meditation (which he claimed did indeed make him feel better), Stuart manifested a feminine information source he called “Alexandra” whose calm, understated manner was a stark contrast to his Aries exuberance.

[About a month before he died, Stuart—who was suffering from AIDS symptoms at a time before the current, longevity promoting, AIDS “cocktail” of meds had been developed— told me that he had dreamed he was in a coma in hospital, and that I was sitting beside his bed. He said that in the dream, I understood that it was so beautiful where he went when he was in deep trance, that someday he would not come back from there, and that I was OK with it. When I found his body that morning in 1988, I realized then that his account of his “dream” had been his way of letting me know he was planning to kill himself with a heavy injection of painkiller that he had been hoarding since his job as a med tech at Key West Island Hospital.

[The following channeling discusses my experiences regarding Stuart since his passing. -RL]

When Mister Rand first walked into the room where he found his lover’s body, he had no sooner set eyes upon Stuart’s prone form than he felt, floating somewhere near the ceiling on the lefthand side of the bedroom, two energies or consciousnesses. One of the consciousnesses was in fact that of Stuart, Rand’s lover; the other, that of the so-called “channeled entity” that 2 years previously had, at its first appearance, announced its name as “Alexandra”.

Now “Alexandra” was the feminine persona of the channeler, Stuart. In a sense, Mister Rand feels she is still present in his life; at other times she seems a very distant memory. Stuart himself feels to Mister Rand even more distant. Mister Rand’s younger brother, Jeffrey Robert Lee, died in 1990 from AIDS; his consciousness, by contrast with Stuart’s, seems much more present in Mister Rand’s life, particularly when Mister Rand is channeling or doing psychic readings for clients.

Why do some dead feel more present to us than others? The answers in part depend upon our ultimate view of reality. An atheist-materialist-ethicist [might] say that the memories of the dead, not the dead themselves, are present with us in direct proportion to how willing we have been to release those relationships and move on to new ones in physical reality—in other words, the more emotionally attached you are to the memory of your dead friend or relative, the more present they will seem to be. By contrast, a spiritualist might say that some dead feel more present to us than others because some of our dead have been willing to “move on”—detach from identification with their former self, former life, and former acquaintances (us)—and others of our dead have not.

We see the situation as possessing elements of both explanations. Let us say that Mister Yiffniff dies. At first, depending upon his spiritual practises in the life just ended, Yiffniff [may be] a bit disoriented; he may even feel that his death is a mistake, that he has so much “unfinished business” to attend to before he is ready to depart fully. Other, less conflicted individuals, may be ready to “move on” immediately—may be even glad that they have died, for now, if they wish, they can take on a new physical form in a new place or position in spacetime. Still other beloved dead may select to remain focused in our physical plane in order to keep watch over the physically living—to act, in a sense, as spirit guides to those whom they have loved and still do love. Mister Jeffrey, Mister Rand’s baby brother, is just such a one—committed,  as it were, to stay by Mister Rand’s side until it is time for them to become balls of joyous light together. Each case is different, however, and must be evaluated as objectively as possible by the psychic researcher. •