To Blame

ImageTo Blame is the fourth least creative level of consciousness after To Control Absolutely, To Force, and To Threaten. As To Threaten focuses the soul’s attention on the future, thus inhibiting balanced creative action in the face of fear, so To Blame traps the soul in the past. Persons focused on the consciousness level of To Blame cannot stop hating, and therefore can never be free of those forces that have hurt them.

To Blame consciousness not only traps those focused within it, forcing them to relive over and over again the hurts of the past; it also erodes, slowly but surely, their sense of proportion and responsibility, until the original hurt and its perpetrators loom larger and larger in the consciousness until they become a sufferer’s Higher Power. To Blame consciousness also erodes one’s sense of responsibility, tempting the soul to attribute all its travails to the persons and incidents who have harmed it, therefore robbing the soul of its power to make positive choices.

Does this mean that we must crush our anger over wrongs done us and throw ourselves with gritted teeth into the arms of forgiveness? Of course not. The only way to forgiveness is through anger: acknowledging it; using it to help us take positive steps to extricate ourselves from harmful situations and people; and when we feel safe enough to do so, slowly beginning to permit ourselves to soften around our anger and the memories that gave rise to it. Eventually the hurts become part of the landscape of the inner self, like the soft eroded hills of the Appalachians, which once, eons ago, were massive and forbidding.

The flip side of To Blame is To Accept Blame One Does Not Deserve. Unjust guilt feelings and the shame that accompanies them can drive people to suicide. Abused children and spouses frequently blame themselves for their abusers’ actions; rape sufferers have often been accused of “asking for it” because they were dressed in a sexually appealing way when they were violated. Religious groups regularly target specific fringe populations as particularly hateful to God. And when members of such fringe populations internalize that hatred, accepting that censure, terrible things can happen.

My former pastor, a kind and brilliant man who ran the Evangelical Presbyterian Church I once belonged to, committed suicide because he was homosexual. He was not a child molester. He had not hidden his attraction to men from the board of elders who oversaw his stewardship of the church, and had vowed a celibate life. He had continued to pastor his congregation with wisdom and prudence, and was known in the larger community for his work in comforting dying AIDS patients. But in the end, his acceptance of our religious group’s censure of homosexual desire killed him.

To Control Absolutely, To Force, To Threaten, and To Blame are the four least creative consciousness levels. And they are not static; once the consciousness starts to collapse, it tends to keep going. People who blame others tend to be easily threatened. Fearful people tend to turn to force to protect themselves. And violent people engender violent societies in which individual freedoms are eventually abrogated entirely.

How does one stop the collapse of one’s consciousness into less and less creative levels? How does one lift oneself out of To Control or To Be Controlled, To Force or To Be Forced, To Threaten or To Be Threatened, To Blame or To Accept Blame One Does Not Deserve?

NEXT: To Accept With Intent To Learn.

On Fear: A Message from “The Family”

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Fear is the nursemaid of hate. Fear is the child of understanding only part of the whole picture. Fear is the lover of anger; each feeds the other. Fear, as one of your science fiction writers has stated, is the mind killer. Why, if the multiverse arose from a Void of Love and Light, does fear play a part in physical reality?

Fear is necessary in physical reality because (1) incarnated consciousnesses possess finite brains that find it very difficult to encompass a full understanding of the Greater Self, in whom we are each ever and always safe; (2) because beings with physical bodies need biochemical assistance in order to survive in the everchanging reality of hardedged spacetime; and (3) because physical reality is a young reality that is still learning about itself. This is how we see it.

Mr Rand’s fears are always the same: fear of falling down a bottomless well, in the dark, where no cries can be heard and where no love penetrates, forever and ever. This translates into such lesser fears as fear of poverty, fear of low status, fear of abuse, fear of humiliation, fear of death. But in fact Mr Rand’s fears boil down to fear of abandonment by the Divine Lover of souls.

 

The fact that such abandonment cannot and will not ever happen to Mr Rand is beside the point. The physical brain lays down channels of information processing as it ages, and Mr Rand’s fear channels are well laid down. To balance such learned fear, it is useful to begin laying down new neural pathways of trust and love. And this is best done through a combination of meditation, emotional expression, and physical action.

By meditation we do not necessarily mean formal meditation as practiced in various of your religions, although all such practices have merit in reducing fear. Meditation can be as simple a practice as sitting in the chair and feeling the sunshine warm your skin while you sing a lovely song to yourself. Or lying on the soil and feeling it beneath your feet and hands and knees; smelling it; hugging the earth and imagining yourself as an infant lying upon the chest of your loving parent. Meditation is any practice that takes you out of your focus upon past or future, for that is what fear is: expectations of pain born from past experience, or expectations of pain born from the fears of those around you.

Talking to oneself can also reduce fear. Saying, “I accept that this is how I feel at this moment,” and focusing upon the fear, gently softening around the fear (rather than distracting yourself from the fear through food, television, alcohol, and such diversions) so that it begins to recede. Saying to oneself, “Today I have food, clothing, a place to shelter from the elements, friends, and a sweet black cat named Urdwill” can help bring one’s attention back into the present, where it belongs.

This is not to say that planning for the future is bad. Fear can be a sign that your bodymind knows there are repercussions about to be experienced by you as a result of your failure to plan. But it is important to bear in mind that physical reality always contains within it the element of chance (The Fool in the Tarot deck), and that ultimately no one can control all the events of a life.

So what can one do to live peacefully in a world where pain, sorrow, and grief can exist? One way that is often avoided by Mr Rand is the way of physical consolation. Putting on music, soaking in a bathtub, receiving a massage, asking for a hug, creating beauty through making art or digging in the garden, taking a gentle swim in a public pool until one’s body is pleasantly fatigued—all these actions can help reduce fear, depending upon the forms your fear takes and the surroundings and events that tend to trigger it.

One of the worst aspects of anxiety attacks is the sense that one is completely alone. Yet independence was never the plan for physical reality. Even in the great light reaches, such as the plane of reality we call the plane of light and sound, independence is not possible. The way of creation on all planes is interdependence—asking and receiving; loving and being loved; giving and getting; communicating one’s needs to others until one’s needs are met. Your Jesus said, “Ask and keep on asking and you will receive. Seek and keep on seeking and you will find. Knock and keep on knocking and the door will be opened.” That is how he spoke in the Aramaic of his day, and that is how the Greek writers of the New Testament wrote down his words.