The Invisible Irrelevant in the Living Room

Rand Lee is a freelance writer and psychic consultant based in Santa Fe, New Mexico..

Ever since Donald Trump was installed as President of the United States, I’ve had a hard time sitting down at the computer and trance-writing “Life On the Borderlands”. To be frank, given the enormity of the injustices being perpetrated in this country and around the world, I’ve come to feel that this blog is pretty irrelevant.

It’s not that “The Family” and I haven’t been able to help anybody. A fair number of you have told me you’ve felt inspired, consoled, and expanded by some of the words that have appeared here. It’s just that I feel the forces of darkness pushing, pushing, pushing to remake the USA into Putin’s Russia, and it’s difficult for me to believe that anything “The Family” and I say can make the slightest contribution toward staving off the final outcome.

mercyNo sooner do I voice this on my computer screen, than from deep within me a contrary set of memes wells up, challenging my pessimism. I am reminded of the I Ching ideogram often called in English “The Healing Power of the Small”: if this blog helps even one person, isn’t it worth doing? And I receive the gentle suggestion that perhaps part of my discouragement is rooted in noble hopes for the salvation of the world but in the fact that I feel, after years of striving, I have not “made something of myself”—i.e., earned enough money, fame, recognition, weight loss, and status in the “real” world to win the respect of my (mostly long dead) childhood critics and detractors.

In the late fall of 2013, I was leading a group heart chakra meditation when I dropped into a spontaneous and entirely unexpected experience of complete and utter safety. It was like waking from a rather troublesome dream, and realizing with a start of relief that what I had thought was real life—a world of force, threat, blame, and shame—was not the ultimate reality at all. The ultimate reality was that deep down in the core of myself I am, and always will be, safe. And the Love that pervades deep reality needs no praise, no worship, no gratitude, nothing at all, for It is complete in Itself, and therefore free to love without question everything in me and my reality that I call “good,” and everything in me and my reality that I call “bad.”

I wish to stress that this vision felt, when I was in it, entirely ordinary, entirely undramatic, and entirely familiar. But coming out of it, I realized that for the first time in my life I felt truly, deeply fed. And in the days that followed, my ambitions, jealousies, and pessimism were lifted from me, because I had everything I would ever need. Did this sense of completeness last? No. In time it faded, crowded out by my body’s cravings for food, touch, and safety. But the memory of it lingers, and when I share that memory with you, I feel hopeful again.

The healing power of the small. Take heart, my friends. The best is yet to come. •

To book a psychic reading or training session with Rand, contact him at chrononaut61@gmail.com.

 

 

A Message from “The Family”: On Finding the Center

Mister Rand has given us leave to write about anything we wish, which means we have the task of writing about what he most wishes to hear, since “we” as such do not exist. He has struggled in recent months with a disorientation born of the shock of the Trump person being elected as President of the United States of America. This disorientation, as we see it, is threefold: first, a disorientation of context. The context in which Mister Rand has lived much of his life has betrust_meen one of the United States being at root a well-meaning, generous, adaptive and accepting country, one in which differences are at worst tolerated, at best embraced wholeheartedly.

That this United States has always existed more in intention than in reality does not lessen the impact or importance of this concept held by Mister Rand. He has always felt himself embedded in an America that was, at root, benevolent. To discover that beneath the surface of the mass consciousness there has always seethed a whirlwind of blame, judgmentalism, intolerance, sexism, and social class division has shocked Mister Rand’s idealism into stunned silence.

 Mister Rand’s disorientation is also a disorientation of safety. With the ascendancy of President Trump has, for Mister Rand, come an escalating sense of danger: a keen awareness of the unpredictable nature of physical reality, particularly as regards marginalized populations—gender nonconformists, artists/writers, the poor, the disabled, and those whose skin color does not conform to the standard American norm of heterosexual male Caucasianhood. Mister Rand is keenly aware now, in a way he has not been aware previously, that there are those who would wish him dead simply because he is gay, spiritualist, and possessed of Jewish ancestry.

Mister Rand’s third disorientation is one of purpose. The story Mister Rand has put faith in for many years is that each individual in physical reality is incarnated for a specific reasons or reasons: experiences [that] he or she needs for soul-growth; services that he or she has been called upon to provide to others; and individuals with whom he or she has agreed to collaborate in order to construct and create tools, templates, and systems reflective of the transcendent beauty of the human soul.

Now Mister Rand is uncertain of these matters. Chaos has appeared to ascend in power over him and others, and all bets, as it were, seem off. From our viewpoint, however, nothing has changed in physical reality at all. That is, the ascendancy of President Trump and his followers we see as part of a normal cycle of moral flux, a moral flux that has always existed just out of sight, or mostly just out of sight, beneath the mask of U.S. civil responsibility and ethics. Mister Rand is realizing that his center—the core beliefs around which he has built his worldview—is not one supported by current events. So he is tempted to jettison his core beliefs in the basic goodness of people and the benevolent oversight of Divine Love as idealistic and self-delusional.

To this we say, truth is truth whether or not it is believed by the mass consciousness, and truth cannot be denied forever. To paraphrase a 19th Century Christian writer, God is Love in all parts of Itself, and thinks nothing of Itself, but only of Its creation and how It can win creation back into Its loving embrace. And it takes a special kind of faith and courage to hold fast to this truth in the face of force, threat, and blame as manifested in the surrounding culture.

So to Mister Rand we say, Fear not, neither be dismayed; the vision you experienced in 2013 of the unshakeable, unlosable Love at the center of everything is still true. Open yourself up today to be a channel of that love to those around you, and you will experience small miracles of hope even in the face of death. And we thank you for sharing.

— Channeled Friday, March 17, 2017, 6:30 am MT, Santa Fe, New Mexico USA.

On Mother’s Day

MAJORTRUMPS.IV.TheEmpress

neolithic fertility goddess figure

For those of us whose mothers physically, emotionally, and/or sexually abused us—whether overtly or covertly—Mother’s Day can be a joyless experience. So I prefer to think of Mother’s Day as a holy day dedicated to recognition of the nurturing face of the Divine in all its manifestations.

Years ago, when i was visiting the shrine at El Santuario de Chimayo, I wandered into the back of the shrine, where a large metal fenced in area was hung with thousands of pieces of paper bearing the photos and/or prayers for relatives of pilgrims. The statue of La Conquistadora in the chapel had depressed me, as war goddesses always do, and I was feeling low in general because of the condemnatory homophobia of the church hierarchy.

As I stood there, my forehead pressed against the fence, I noticed that a stream ran by the place where I was standing. All at once I received a very strong impression of a female energy saying to me, “Don’t listen to those old men on the hill. From my womb you came, to my womb you shall return. You have a right to be here.”

Another time the Great Mother appeared to me was in a dream. I dreamed that I was standing in a kitchen facing a screen door opening to the outside world. On the other side of the screen were a group of wild animals, led by a giant sow, all gazing at me. When I looked into the sow’s eyes the message came to me, “Please don’t forget us.”

I am firmly convinced that environmental abuse—industrial pollution and despoiling of habitats—threatens ourselves and many other species with extinction. Often such abuse arises from Force and Threat based thinking on the part of corporate heads, who believe that anybody strong enough to take what he wants deserves to enjoy the spoils of victory no matter who else or what else it harms. Sometimes such abuse appears to arise from the trauma of growing up poor in rural areas where only the hardest physical labor results in bare subsistence living; in such cases, it is easy to view the Earth as an enemy and animals as either potential foodstuffs to be harvested or rivals for dwindling resources. Sometimes such abuses arise from the blinders which a privileged urban upbringing often places upon the wealthy; to such persons, “real life” is the concrete and glass of the city, and rural life is a kind of theme park rather than the source of all air, water, and food essential to human life. And sometimes, environmental abuse may serve as a “safety valve” for intense personal anger over abuses suffered in childhood.

I grew up in the New England countryside. I spent hours as a boy wandering our woods. I seldom encountered any animals or heard any birds, the latter because (he confessed to me years later) my severely abused older brother—who demonstrated in other contexts a marked sensitivity towards and caring for animals—had a habit of shooting and killing as many birds as he could find. “It was either that,” he told me, “or shoot Mom and Dad.” (A decorated Viet Nam conflict veteran and lifelong alcoholic now in sobriety over 18 years, my brother has set aside his once-hoarded firearms, recognizing that possessing them did not actually make him safer and stronger. So healing is possible, and I honor him for embracing it one day at a time.)

Anti-pollution and environmental exploitation activism is crucial if we are to rescue the Earth, its animals, and ourselves from Force and Threat consciousness run riot. But while we address corporate malfeasance, let’s not forget that corporations are run by individuals, and that a successful environmental protection campaign must also seek to re-educate the individuals responsible for voting in corporate practices that are harming life on Earth. Identifying and reaching such people can be very difficult, as they frequently view anonymity and freedom from personal accountability (“It’s nothing personal; it’s just business”) as some of the privileges enjoyed by the ruling class. But we must persist in showing these people that there is no such thing as an impersonal business decision where the health of the Earth and its creatures is concerned. •

 

A Message From “The Family”: On Pets

Rand.UrdwillMister Rand is today facing the possibility that his pet feline, Urdwill, may have more cancerous tumors growing upon his body. They may be malignant or they may be nonmalignant, but in any event Mister Rand’s cat is not eating, although he is drinking water. Mister Rand is remembering all the pets, and all the humans, he has lost to death over the decades, and has been showing great signs of anxiety, guilt, and shame, because part of himself feels (1) that males should not feel such feelings, (2) that he ought to have “saved” his transformed loved ones from death; and (3) that his future spiritual belongingness–whether “God” accepts him after death or not–depends upon his being perfect in all his thoughts, words, and deeds. He even believes that we may be fictions, or worse still, Satanic messengers sent to draw him and those who read his blogs away from the One True God. Mister Rand does not believe any of these things consciously. But all selves exist within the Self, including younger versions of the self, and all their voices sometimes sound within Mister Rand’s heart at once, contradicting the quieter voices of his reason and spiritual insight.

Mister Rand has vowed, when ever it is Urdwill the cat’s true time of leave taking the body, never to have another pet, because he says he “cannot bear” the thought of watching another pet die, or worse still, causing their death by having them euthenased by injection at a vet’s office. Mister Rand says that his grief is too great to bear, since (as he is aware) his grief over losing a pet is also grief over his losses of all the animals and humans in his life (and other lives as well, though he may not know this consciously). There are times when he even feels guilty over having a pet at all, both because of the impact pet-rearing can have on the environment and because he wonders whether it is good for an animal to be shoehorned into a human’s life rather than be permitted to live out its lifespan in a natural environment. Yet even in these things he knows the truth: that there are no natural environments, for your world has been made and remade by Humans repeatedly over the millennia; that in the “wild,” animals live a much shorter time than in “captivity;” and that humans can bring enormous comfort and fun into a domesticated animal’s life.

Mr. Urdwill has lived a reasonably long life for a cat of his size and genetic makeup: 14 years by Mister Rand’s present count. For all but 8 months of those years, Mister Urdwill has roamed free within his territory, Mister Rand’s backyard. He has enjoyed much fresh air, sleeping under datura leaves, chasing toads, terrorizing Mister Rand’s dogs (<-this is a joke>).

[Broken off because of need to take Urdwill to vet; resumed early next morning]

The purpose of the communion between “pets” and humans varies from pet to pet and human to human. Why did Mr. Urdwill choose Mr. Rand as his human companion that day at the pound in 2002, when Mister Rand, following an image of a black cat that had persisted in coming to him, visited the pound and experienced the black Abyssinian mix cat open the door of its cage, walk out, and sit upon Mister Rand’s foot? Mr. Urdwill wished freedom from enclosure. And freedom from enclosure is what Mister Rand gave him, for most of the years of their time together. Both cat and human also wished love, for all beings wish love, even rodents, which humans frequently despise because they closely resemble humans in some of their habits; and lizards, which being “cold blooded” are thought to have no need for love, only sex and food. It is just that Love takes different forms amongst different beings.

What Mister Rand really wants to know is, did he love Urdwill and his family and friends who have passed, truly love them “enough” for God to forgive him for not having been perfect? For having resented and quarreled with his beloved younger brother who died of AIDS in 1990? For having hated his abusive-seductive mother, who nonetheless had loved him in her way and he had loved her in his? For having heeded his lover Alex’s psychic command not to enter Alex’s room the evening of Alex’s suicide, when Mister Rand had returned from a gig the both of them had been scheduled to lead? We say, Yes, you have loved truly. Yes, you have expressed this love at times imperfectly. That is because one purpose for incarnation, the great task of incarnating in physical reality, is to learn to integrate the Divine Love at one’s core with one’s physical self and circumstances. And all students perform imperfectly—they are learning.

Mister Urdwill’s life is drawing to a close due to cancer and complications therefrom. Grief is difficult for many humans to express and bear, for it makes them feel weak and vulnerable and foolish in the eyes of other adults. We ask for all who experience grief over the loss of a companion animal or human relative or friend that you pray for Divine Love to help you forgive yourselves for being students of Love rather than masters thereof. And we thank you for sharing. •

— Channeled April 14-15, 2015, Santa Fe, New Mexico

A Love Letter To Alex, On the Anniversary of His Suicide

Dear  Alex,

Today, January 27th, is the anniversary of the day I found you dead on your bed in 1988. My elderly cat has been sick, and though I love him dearly and will miss him terribly when it is his time to pass, my weeping was so intense today, and my feelings of guilt and shame so pronounced, that I knew what I was feeling had to be about earlier losses, too. Hence this letter.

It’s not the only letter I’ve written to you, by any means; for years I struggled with the persistent notion that I could have saved you from your suicide; that somehow you had killed yourself because I had failed as a partner and lover. Now, so many years, therapies, 12 Step programs, and heart-openings later, I know that your story was not my story. Had I opened the door that night at 10pm when I returned from work to find the light on under your door, I might have delayed your death, for the coroner told me you had died around midnight that night. But in the end, if death is what you wished for (and your ex-wife told me over the phone you had attempted it before, during your marriage to her), you would have found a way to hasten it. After all, a month before you died you warned me what was going to happen.

We were in the car going somewhere, you driving, me in the front passenger seat. You said, “I had a funny dream last night. I dreamed we were in a hospital room. I was lying in bed in a coma, and you were sitting on the chair next to the bed. And I knew that you were all right with my condition, because I’d told you many times that the place where I go when I do deep trance is so beautiful that some day I may not want to come back.” Maybe it was that dream (if it was a dream and not your way of hinting what was to come) that prompted me on some level to realize our time together remaining would be curtailed, for it was in mid-January that I sprung on you that surprise birthday party, where all our friends gathered, and we played a game, and you had cake, and laughed, and said, “No one has ever had a birthday party for me before.” Less than two weeks later you were dead.

My inner child has always been terrified of death. Death, in fact, is my Life Theme, the greatest truth this incarnation of mine has been learning to accept, assimilate, and adapt to. Maybe that’s one reason I was attracted to metaphysics after my rationalist upbringing and my ensuing 7 years as a Fundamentalist Christian—I sought to find evidence that the body is not all of us; that physical death is not the death of something deeper and more core in us; and that somehow Tarot, trancework, channeling and so forth would console me in ways that conventional religion failed to do. And it has helped. After my little brother Jeff, you were the greatest spiritual inspiration in my life. Your deep-trance channelings, which I (suspiciously at first, then more and more credulously) helped you attain with my guided meditations, changed my life completely. My entire spiritual world view has evolved from the talks you gave in your spirit-persona of  “Alexandra”, and I’m not the only one you helped by any means.

I can still recall clearly the sense of peace and nurture that flowed through your Alexandra persona to me and everyone else who attended our meetings in Key West, Florida, Ireland, and later Santa Fe, New Mexico, where you died. And I can recall vividly that the morning I found you, the moment I put my hand on your doorknob at 10am to rouse you for a meeting with a client we had scheduled for 11, I knew you were dead. I opened the door, saw you on the bed, and felt you and Alexandra—not the same person, but two personas—”floating” near the ceiling, witnessing me. I’ve had spiritual experiences since then, several in which I caught a glimpse of that Heaven of Light and Sound which made you so blissful whenever you tranced. But the experience I had that morning was my Lightning-Struck Tower.

Thank you for all you gave me. Thank you for my sense of your continuing presence in my life. I have loved other men since I met you, but you remain uniquely precious.

P.S. Please watch over my cat, and help me release him to the arms of Love when it comes his time to rise. •

Alex_with_Christmas_tree.IMG

A Few Rules For A Rich Life (with Caveats)

  1. Get a job. If you can’t find one, make one up and go for it. If you can’t do this, volunteer. Volunteering often leads to paid jobs.
  2. Work your butt off. That is, throw yourself completely and enthusiastically into whatever you are doing.
  3. Rest frequently. Even a 5 minute eyes-closed phone-turned-off door-locked DO NOT DISTURB rest can refresh and heal you like nobody’s business.
  4. Cultivate your friendships. Gardens and friendships both require feeding, watering, weeding, and (occasionally) hard pruning in order to stay healthy.
  5. Don’t blame others for your mistakes. On the other hand, don’t blame yourself for your mistakes, either. Simply accept that you are human, and have made a mistake, and resolve to learn from it so your pain is not repeated.
  6. Notice, and release, “us-them” thinking wherever possible. 
  7. Don’t despair. It’s the nature of reality to change frequently, and there are no last chances for happiness even on your deathbed.
  8. Cultivate gratitude. However resentfully and reluctantly, make a conscious daily effort to notice at least one blessing in your life.
  9. Make a sincere effort, then release the need to control the results.
  10. Ask for what you really want, not what you think you can get.
  11. Budget.
  12. Make the most of the opportunities you have instead of wasting energy wishing you had better ones.
  13. Keep looking for better ones.
  14. Don’t lie, even when they do.
  15. Don’t sign anything you don’t understand. Don’t be ashamed to ask for explanations.
  16. Try to do as good a job in the small things as you do in the large.
  17. Don’t criticize others behind their backs. If you can’t find something good to say, hum.
  18. If in doubt about what decision to make, consider putting off the decision for 3 minutes, 3 hours, 3 days, 3 weeks, 3 months, or 3 years. By that time either the situation will have resolved itself, another opportunity will have arisen, or you will have been shown what to do.
  19. Keep your numbers. That is, keep track of how much money you earn and how much money you spend from day to day, so that at the end of the month you have a better idea of your spending patterns, and how to revise your budget in light of those patterns.
  20. Encourage the young, but don’t preach to them.
  21. When you make a mistake, ask, “What can I do differently next time?” The only failures are those who refuse to learn from failure.
  22. Exercise, however feebly. It soothes depression and sharpens the mind.
  23. Drink lots of water.
  24. Trust yourself.
  25. Don’t say “Yes” when you want to say “No”, and vice versa.
  26. Ask for help. Keep on asking as many sources as you can until you get that help you need.
  27. Don’t waste time worrying about your enemies. Divine Love and Truth will handle them if you let It, either by turning them into your friends or making their influence on your life irrelevant.
  28. Respect good teachers, but eschew guru-worship. No teacher or authority figure embodies Divine Love and Truth perfectly or completely.
  29. Relax. Tense muscles bruise easily, and so do tense minds and hearts.

 

A Message From ‘The Family’: On Giving Thanks

ImageGratitude, Mister Rand informs us, is a muscle he has yet to build up hugely. He says that when he hears slogans in his Twelve Step meetings such as, I need an attitude of gratitude, he says with a groan, Another platitude! Why, he asks, does one need an attitude of gratitude? What is an attitude of gratitude, anyway? And why is gratitude—thankfulness, appreciation,  thanksgiving—why are these spiritual disciplines [so important that they are] to be wrestled with until one achieves mastery over them? For that is how Mister Rand thinks of them.

In answer we would say we do not see it in this way.

Consider this, Mister Rand: suppose we were to say to a leaf, Be grateful for the sun, or the sun will stop shining on you. Would you not accuse us of absurdity or villainy or both? Even the mechanist views the sun as a power that shines regardless of the attitudes that any given leaf may bear toward it, if indeed a leaf can have an attitude in the human emotional sense at all. And so we say it is wicked and illogical to suggest that because one is not grateful to God or Goddess or the Universe or the Invisible Sky Friend or the Divine Pizza of Delectability or whatever one wishes to call the source of all life and love at the core of everything and everyone, that that Greater Self or Higher Power or God or Goddess or Divine Spark or deity or immoveable Object-and-Subject requires or weighs or needs or even desires such thanks as a condition of Its willingness to help said one? For we do not see God as required, needing, desiring, or even it occurring to God that HeSheItTheyCoOne might even be missing praise, thanks, gratitude, or love from the Creation, for God by Its very nature is complete within Itself and is entirely Love in all parts of Itself, desiring and thinking of nothing save how It may delight in the beings born from It and help them to fulfill their natures as uniquenesses.

In brief, Mister Rand, an attitude of gratitude is not a proviso you must fulfill before God will bless you. It has nothing to do with getting or not getting, as though one might hold one’s mouth a certain way and Love would flow to one. The attitude of gratitude is the natural result that occurs when one realizes how deeply, greatly, thoroughly, unceasingly, unconditionally, and intelligently the Greater Self loves one already. “Well, then,” says Mister Rand, “I will not bother with gratitude or thanks at all. I will just say, God give me this, God give me that, and to Hell with thanks.” (He wishes us to communicate that he does not really say these things, we are simply using him as an Everyman, as a terrible example of dumbfoolery, in a figurative sense as it were.) And we would reply, Go right ahead. It will not matter to God one jot or tittle. It will not grieve Her one bit, save in that She grieves that you are not large enough in the heart to receive all the blessings that She has for you.

For that is what thankfulness and gratitude enjoinders are at their core meant to convey when issuing forth from a spiritual force or tradition or teaching. They are meant to say, You do not let God do one billionth trillionth quadrillionth of the truthful loving things for you that God wishes to do, and the reason we know this is the case is because you do not feel thankful and grateful. For thankfulness and gratitude do not arise from the belief that having these attitudes will get you more blessings. Nor do they arise from the belief that having these attitudes will keep divine displeasure or punishment away from your door. “Gratitude” so-called is not thankfulness at all; it is flattery, born of fear—born of the consciousness level we call To Be Threatened.

Have you ever turned a corner and suddenly seen someone or something so beautiful, or heard a strain of music so entrancing, or had a thought so crystalline in its perfection, that you were stopped short in your tracks with the joy and wonder of it? Did you pause to say to yourself, “Oh, that is beautiful, entrancing, perfect, and wonderful. I will make myself feel joy and wonder toward it so that it will give me more of itself”? No you do not say this. The joy and wonder that stops [you] short in your tracks springs unbidden from deep within you. It is what one feels when one is shown a glimpse of one’s Divine core nature—one’s Greater Self.

Holy people, saints, boddhisatvas, whatever you wish to call those you deem enlightened or spiritually “advanced”— these persons are characterized by thankfulness and gratitude not because they tried to make themselves feel that way so that their Deity would bless them. They are thankful and grateful because their eyes have been opened to the beauty and wonder and love and light that lie around us all at every given moment. Such beings are in a constant state of delighted surprise. That state of spontaneous delighted surprise is what is meant by “Give thanks to God.”

true_strength_is_nurturing“But I do not feel grateful to God” some may say. “God let me be abused. God lets typhoons destroy villages. God lets people be raped and animals tortured,” and so forth. And these are true and terrible observations to which the only appropriate response is mourning. Of course if one is suffering from such terrible experiences one is not likely to be able to hold on to a vision of the light and love at the core of everything. Of course one is blinded by pain and fear. That is why God, Deity, Mother, Abba, the One is not angry or displeased or disappointed by those who curse HerHimItThemOne in their suffering. For the Greater Self knows that in physical reality and thought reality—where suffering is available as a byproduct of the illusion of separateness that enables beings to feel like individuals, thus granting them the pleasures of unique creativity, of personalness—maintaining a vision of the big picture, of the true nature of reality, is difficult in the extreme when one’s body and mind are lacerated with the effects of Force, Threat, and Blame.

And if the Greater Self, God, Goddess, Sky Cushion knows this it is because It is within you. It is you. It shares your nature as much as you share Its, for the whole is contained within each part, just as each part is contained within the whole. So to Mister Rand we say, do not worry yourself about being grateful or giving thanks all the time. God does not need your praise to feel good about Himself. God is not insecure. God does not possess low self-esteem. God does not require counseling.

God is Love in all parts of Godself, and thinks nothing of Godself but only of God’s creation, and how to turn your attention and your heart and your body back into a harmonious relationship with that Love and Light which It is the summation of and of which you are an expression.

And we thank you for sharing.

Channeled 9:41 pm Thursday 28 November 2013