A Message from “The Family”: Soul Winter

Many individuals periodically undergo a transformational process characterized by a numbing of response to physical events and relationships. This process can be confused with depression, for they bear a certain likeness to one another: lassitude; lack of interest in recreational activities; a tendency to allow personal  cleanliness and grooming to languish. But the transformational process, which we call Soul Winter, goes far deeper than simple depression. It is a process whereby the soul decides whether or not to stay in physical reality.

The bulk of this process is not conscious. That is, the owner of the soul is usually unaware of the decision being weighed by his or her innermost self. But when the decision is finally made, the conscious self may be struck by a sense of urgency, a feeling that his or her time may be running out; or by a feeling of absolute certainty that nothing more can be accomplished or experienced in physical reality that would be worth the effort of doing so.

What happens when a soul decides it is time to shed the body and move on? Often, death takes place, and not necessarily by conscious suicide: an illness that has lain quiescent suddenly worsens; an accident sweeps the body away; another human, apparently randomly, causes the soul’s body to cease functioning. And sometimes the death comes by the soul’s own hand. This happened with Mr. Alex, Mr. Rand’s lover, who took an overdose of pain killer when he had decided that he did not wish the experience of a slow, painful death from AIDS.

Does this mean that every human who dies through illness, accident, suicide, or another’s violence decides to do so? No. Most individuals in those situations are not ready to die, and if they had the power to avert their deaths, they would do so readily. But individuals undergoing Soul Winter are different. Such individuals’ deaths take place after a lengthy process of disconnecting from spacetime, characterized by three stages: comprehensive life assessment; increasing detachment from relationships once treasured and activities once engaged in with joy; and, finally, a release of identification with career, loved ones, and body. Whereupon death usually comes quickly.

And that death can take two forms: physical death, culminating in the soul abandoning the body to the earth; or, more rarely, complete transformation of the personality, including all its passions, its purposes, and the focus of what it wishes to create and experience while still in the body. This latter experience of death while still in the body is often referred to as the “walk-in” experience, in which personality transformation is assumed to be caused by the original soul leaving the body and a different soul taking its place in the body.

While not ruling out the possibility that such a thing might conceivably take place, it is our observation that most cases classified as “walk-ins” do not involve a soul being replaced by a new one, but a soul maturing into its true life-purpose.

Mister Rand asks us why we have selected this topic to write about tonight. It is because the current upcoming winter season will be bringing many individuals into the process of assessing whether continuing in physical reality is worth doing in their present bodies and period of history. And we wish to make it known that suicide, whether conscious and deliberate or via apparently random accident, is not a sin which some God will punish. For God is Love in all parts of Itself, and thinks nothing of Itself, but only of Its creation, and how It can win Its children back into conscious union with It.

Mister Rand expresses fear that our saying this will encourage some readers to kill themselves. We do not expect that such a thing will happen, for most of the readers of this blog are interested in furthering their personal growth while still in the body. We say these things, rather, to offer consolation to any readers who may have lost a loved one to suicide. Your beloved is safe in the womb of the Celestial Mother, a womb so vast that all of physical reality might fit within it. And some day, when it is right, you will rejoin your beloved there.

And we thank you for sharing. •

— Channeled December 7, 2017, 1:04 A.M. U.S. Mountain Time.

 

 

A Message from “The Family”: On Finding the Center

Mister Rand has given us leave to write about anything we wish, which means we have the task of writing about what he most wishes to hear, since “we” as such do not exist. He has struggled in recent months with a disorientation born of the shock of the Trump person being elected as President of the United States of America. This disorientation, as we see it, is threefold: first, a disorientation of context. The context in which Mister Rand has lived much of his life has betrust_meen one of the United States being at root a well-meaning, generous, adaptive and accepting country, one in which differences are at worst tolerated, at best embraced wholeheartedly.

That this United States has always existed more in intention than in reality does not lessen the impact or importance of this concept held by Mister Rand. He has always felt himself embedded in an America that was, at root, benevolent. To discover that beneath the surface of the mass consciousness there has always seethed a whirlwind of blame, judgmentalism, intolerance, sexism, and social class division has shocked Mister Rand’s idealism into stunned silence.

 Mister Rand’s disorientation is also a disorientation of safety. With the ascendancy of President Trump has, for Mister Rand, come an escalating sense of danger: a keen awareness of the unpredictable nature of physical reality, particularly as regards marginalized populations—gender nonconformists, artists/writers, the poor, the disabled, and those whose skin color does not conform to the standard American norm of heterosexual male Caucasianhood. Mister Rand is keenly aware now, in a way he has not been aware previously, that there are those who would wish him dead simply because he is gay, spiritualist, and possessed of Jewish ancestry.

Mister Rand’s third disorientation is one of purpose. The story Mister Rand has put faith in for many years is that each individual in physical reality is incarnated for a specific reasons or reasons: experiences [that] he or she needs for soul-growth; services that he or she has been called upon to provide to others; and individuals with whom he or she has agreed to collaborate in order to construct and create tools, templates, and systems reflective of the transcendent beauty of the human soul.

Now Mister Rand is uncertain of these matters. Chaos has appeared to ascend in power over him and others, and all bets, as it were, seem off. From our viewpoint, however, nothing has changed in physical reality at all. That is, the ascendancy of President Trump and his followers we see as part of a normal cycle of moral flux, a moral flux that has always existed just out of sight, or mostly just out of sight, beneath the mask of U.S. civil responsibility and ethics. Mister Rand is realizing that his center—the core beliefs around which he has built his worldview—is not one supported by current events. So he is tempted to jettison his core beliefs in the basic goodness of people and the benevolent oversight of Divine Love as idealistic and self-delusional.

To this we say, truth is truth whether or not it is believed by the mass consciousness, and truth cannot be denied forever. To paraphrase a 19th Century Christian writer, God is Love in all parts of Itself, and thinks nothing of Itself, but only of Its creation and how It can win creation back into Its loving embrace. And it takes a special kind of faith and courage to hold fast to this truth in the face of force, threat, and blame as manifested in the surrounding culture.

So to Mister Rand we say, Fear not, neither be dismayed; the vision you experienced in 2013 of the unshakeable, unlosable Love at the center of everything is still true. Open yourself up today to be a channel of that love to those around you, and you will experience small miracles of hope even in the face of death. And we thank you for sharing.

— Channeled Friday, March 17, 2017, 6:30 am MT, Santa Fe, New Mexico USA.

A Message From “The Family”: On Surviving the Reign of King Trump

Mister Rand has requested us to speak concerning Donald Trump, the individual who was affirmed as the incoming President of the United States of America. Mister Rand has many fears concerning him: Rand fears that his instability will cause him to employ a nuclear arsenal against countries that annoy him or threaten his self-esteem; that he will take away Mister Rand’s Medicare and Social Security; that he will put Mister Rand into a concentration camp for being a homosexual, spiritualist non-Christian, or Jewish on his father’s side. Mister Rand’s fears are many, and that is the power that Mister Trump wields: the power that chaos has to stimulate fear in individuals dwelling in physical reality.

In the Tarot-based system of personality analysis channeled by Mister Rand and  his now deceased partner, Stuart Lucker, Donald Trump partakes of the aspect of the Divine that standard Tarot decks call The Devil. In Mister Rand’s “Tarot of You” system, The Devil card is named The Pan Essence.

We should like to share with you some facts concerning Pan Essence people, and Mister Trump in particular, for the purpose of both allaying some of Mister Rand’s worse fears, and providing insight into how Mister Trump is likely to behave during his reign as king of America. For that is what he wishes to be seen as: a king on a throne, stern yet benevolent, dealing out largesse to his friends and followers, and death or ruin to his enemies.

How, Mister Rand asks, could the mass consciousness of physical reality have chosen such a person to head up the American government? To this we reply, from our perspective, that the mass consciousness did not in fact choose Donald Trump to be king of America. The mass consciousness chose the Sanders man to be the next President.

But there are many levels to the mass consciousness, including a shadow level in which live all the fears that persons are not willing to examine; and the Greater Self saw that it was time for those fears to come to light, lest they erupt in a Holocaust of force, threat, and blame. And so it was that enough individuals voted for Mister Trump that the electoral college of your America, frightened by the threat of reprisal should they vote according to conscience, chose to acknowledge Mister Trump as the new king. In this the collegians hoped that, whatever befell during Trump’s reign, at least they would be spared the worst of the repercussions.

Understand that the Greater Self cannot make people do what they do not wish to do. It can tweak probability lines in order to make certain outcomes more or less likely to manifest, but most of the time It is dependent upon the willingness of conscious beings to serve as its hands, feet, voice, and eyes in spacetime. And Its power to work through the hearts, brains, and actions of conscious beings is considerable.

We say this as preface to answering Mister Rand’s fears concerning Mister Trump and the chaos he might bring into physical reality during his tenure as President of the United States.

It is important to understand that Pan Essence individuals channel through their bodyminds the principle of unpredictability. “Pan” in ancient Greek means “everything,” and Pan Essence people can move in any number of unpredictable directions from moment to moment, based upon their Ruling Passion: the desire to satisfy their appetites for sex, food, praise, power, vengeance, and freedom from moral restraint.

The number one desire of Mister Trump is to be a more powerful figure than the father he resented and feared. A narcissist, he naturally believes himself to be the center of the universe, entitled to receive anything he desires without effort on his part. Contemptuous of those he deems weaker than himself, envious of those who seem happier than he, and enraged by those who judge him as stupid or laughable, Mister Trump seeks dominance in all areas that interest him.

This is consonant with the Pan Essence, which connects to its emotional body, the Lightning Essence, through the Essence of the Emperor. The Emperor represents the physical, political, and economic structures of spacetime. The Lightning represents the holy madness that characterizes direct experience of the divine. So power,  to Mister Trump, is a drug far more addictive than nicotine or heroin.

In its most extreme manifestations, it causes those addicted to it to wish they were gods. On the other hand, Mister Trump connects to his spiritual aspect, the Death Essence, through the Essence of the Sun. Mister Trump greatly fears death, because in death all consciousnesses return to their state of union with the Greater Self.

And the Pan Essence’s connection with the Sun gives Mister Trump an insatiable craving for attention and approval. He wishes to be lauded as a benevolent dictator, and his fantasy is that, once his enemies are punished and those he wishes to impress are suitably bound to him by his benevolent placings of them into power, the world will come to worship him as the Great Daddy, far surpassing the successes of his physical father, whom he has always felt judged and overshadowed by.

And as the Sun shines its radiance into all areas of the world, so Mister Trump wishes the force of his personality to daw the rich and powerful into orbits around him, so that his appetites for wealth, status, and sensual gratification may continue to be satisfied.

The sad fact, however, is that for the Pan Essence individual, appetite is never satisfied. Always the consumption leads to more and more hunger. And in the end, the chaos at the heart of the Pan person will consume him.

What, then, says Mister Rand, can people do to survive the reign of a self-absorbed, emotionally unstable, addiction-prone narcissist? Will he bring about nuclear war? Will he, as Mussolini did in 1930s and ’40s Italy, make Fascism the new norm for American politics? In the most probable scenarios of the future as we see them, there are several great likelihoods:

(1) Mister Trump does not wish to do much work as President; he wishes to leave that work up to his closest followers, as long as he receives the credit for it. So the persons to watch closely are the Vice President, the members of Mister Trump’s cabinet, and those he places into power over various government agencies. It is these persons in particular who must be watched, their selfishness exposed, and their actions resisted. And they can be resisted to a great extent, if those politicians not aligned with Mister Trump are willing to risk loss of power and status by opposing the worst of Trump’s circle’s exploitation of resources.

(2) Mister Trump sees Vladimir Putin as a template of powerful manhood, and there is a strong likelihood that Mister Trump may attempt to exert controls over media, the Internet, and the economy [similar to those] that Mister Putin has put into effect in Russia. But in this, too, Mister Trump will be forced to think twice about the consequences of his actions when he comes face to face with the resistance of social [and political] activists in Congress, not all of whom will be Democratic Party members.

(3) As the impoverishing effects of Trump economic policies begin to be felt by working class men and women, there is likely to be backlash against him in the press, and against local politicians who supported his policies … As tensions increase, we see a strong likelihood of increased attacks upon populations seen by many as marginalized: specifically, sexual, ethnic, and religious minorities.

These must be countered by locally organized groups of the law-abiding. Many police officers will be among those who resist and decry hate crimes, and you have already seen many cities around your nation who have declared themselves safe havens for the marginalized…In the Congress and Senate, many will vie for Mister Trump’s approval and benisons, and there will be increasing rivalry amongst those who wish to rise in his estimation. Attempts will certainly be made to initiate impeachment proceedings, but these will only succeed when he turns against so many of his sycophants that they are awakened from their trances of power.

The chief strategem we recommend is that of building community on a local level, community devoted to protecting and assisting one another. The fantasy of independence must give way to the reality that interdependence—mutual support and exchange—is the stronger path to balancing the chaos. Spiritual and moral leaders will emerge, especially amongst the younger people, who will be galvanized into action as their consciences are awakened and passion for freedom stimulated.

Likewise must pass away is the fantasy of the Fisher King: of finding an earthly Father or Mother who, in exchange for our worship and resources, will make us safe and happy and protect us from our enemies. Your hands are the hands of Divine Love and Light; your voice, Its voice; and if you are willing to entrust every part of you to Its care, you will experience success and peace beyond your wildest dreams.

And we thank you for sharing.

— Channeled January 10, 2017 by Rand B. Lee. All rights reserved.

 

 

A Message From “The Family”: Resurrection Time

earth-5Nothing in physical reality  stays the same forever, for it is the nature of physical reality to be constantly changing: expanding, contracting,  giving birth, wielding death, bringing new life from death again. Your civilization of the West has been living in a reality of continuous stimulation to purchase objects, objects that are touted as possessing the abilities to make you feel young, beautiful, strong, healthy, desirable, hopeful, safe. No object, however, can do any of these things, for objects themselves break down, wear out, are discarded in favor of new objects. And so the cycle continues.

The only possession that does not break down, wear out, fall apart, get lost in the laundry, mess itself up by banging into other objects—the only possession that does not change in physical reality—is (1) pain and (2) joy. Mister Rand objects, “Pain can change if I am willing to feel it and work with it.” That is correct, if by “pain” one means “specific pain arising from specific incidents.” These indeed can soften into background noise, barely perceptible, with no power to limit the onetime sufferer’s life. But pain itself—one’s capacity for suffering, the existence of pain in physical reality—the fact that physical reality provides endless opportunities for pain—that does not change. As long as there is a physical reality, pain will be available.

Mister Rand finds this statement angering and disheartening. “Pain caused by resistance can be mitigated by learning to accept rather than deny what is happening,” he says. “Pain inflicted upon one by a physical source such as sciatica or an angry spouse can be mitigated by medications and physical therapy on the one hand and reconciliation counseling or divorce on the other. But you’re saying that all the claims of certain world religions, that some day God will transform physical reality into a place where no pain, no suffering, no disease, no hunger, no violence exists—you’re saying that this is not going to happen?”

That is correct. That is what we are saying. As long as physical reality exists, pain will be possible, for physical reality is a reality of hard and soft, harsh and gentle, violent and peaceful, good and evil. As we see it in fact, the only realities where pain is available are physical reality and its close companion, the plane of existence we call thought reality. Sometimes called the plane of mind or the astral plane, thought reality is the level of reality where all minds from all times and spaces can meet and interact. Of the nonphysical realities, thought reality is the closest to physical reality, and it mirrors physical reality’s joys and sorrows.

Everything that happens in physical reality sets off sparks in thought reality. These sparks become what we call thought forms, which have, to the aware human mind, all the appearance of reality. When Mister Rand goes into a mall, and begins feeling overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of the crowd, he is unconsciously being battered by thought forms generated by the humans in the crowd. That is because, as Judgment Essence in his Tarot of You system of personality exploration, Mister Rand is particularly prone to sensing and absorbing the mental projections of humans and animals. If Mister Rand permits these thought forms to attach themselves to him, he begins to feel as his own the suffering of those who generated these thought-forms. And this often results in his withdrawing as much as possible from the life outside his own head.

What is the point of this discussion? Our point is that, while you are in physical reality, suffering is one of the experiences that is inevitable here. But physical reality is not the only reality in which your consciousness is embedded, and suffering is not the only experience available here. There are many joys and pleasures available in physical reality as well. Physical reality holds beauties innumerable, and pleasures that have nothing to do with possessing objects that will inevitably decay. Furthermore, Mister Rand is continually connected to the consciousness of his Greater Self, and in the nonphysical he is surrounded by what your Bible calls “clouds of witness”: disembodied friends and relatives, spirit guides, angelic consciousnesses who wish him only well and if called upon can help him make choices that will open up new avenues of pleasure for him.

For every pain in physical reality there is a solace, even if that solace be death; and for every death there is a resurrection. •

— Channeled Friday, Dec. 16, 2016.

DO NOT DESPAIR. HOPE LIVES.

please_do_not_feed_the_fearsDivine Love has not abandoned us.

Despite Trump’s win, despite the triumph of the Shadow, we can survive this together.

We can band together on a local level, work on a local level, to help one another, whatever happens next.

There are small miracles on the way. Look for them. Expect them. Invite Spirit to work through your voice, your hands, your heart, your goodness, your intelligence, your kindness, your many, many talents to bring hope to your corner of the world.

Miracles can happen still.

A Message From “The Family”: On the Triumph of Love

homelessmenhuggingMister Rand has been feeling despair concerning the future of his species and the earth itself, mainly due to manmade pollution brought about by centuries of industrial greed. He observes the rioting and savagery of those his fellow humans who operate on the consciousness levels of To Force, To Threaten, or To Blame.”I just don’t want to be here any more,” says Mister Rand. He does not wish to live in a world where Love does not rule.

Mister Rand longed for this since he was a child. His parents, wounded by their own pain, gave what love they could, but did not keep him safe either from themselves or [two of] his siblings. And so he began to eat to cover the pain. Other sensitives in his family used alcohol for the same purpose. Many sensitives do. Instead of turning to one another for protection and consolation, they withdrew within their own hearts, decided love not only did not exist for themselves, but that Love did not exist in the world Out There as well. As we see it much of atheism is a coping response to the pain of early betrayals by those whose task was to protect, guide, and console. Much religion is such a coping response as well.

What then is the truth of things? Is Divine Love real? Are Mister Rand’s visions of Divine Love psychological pathologizing? Wish projections from a bereft spirit? This is what Mister Rand wrote last night on Facebook:

“I just came through one of the darkest days of my life, where all love and meaning seemed to drain away from everything, and all seemed hopeless. People showed me love, but I hid what was happening to me, and it didn’t begin to pass until I told 2 people the truth. No more lies. We are in a war of shadow and light, and only light and love can win it. God give me the strength to face my shadow with light fueled by love.”

May all those in despair find the door to Love. And we thank you for sharing. •

—Channeled November 25, 2016

 

On Hope in the midst of despair

 

Divine Love has not abandoned us.

Despite Trump’s win, despite the triumph of the Shadow, we can survive this together.

Krishna_Embracing_the_Gopis_LACMA_M.77.19.23We can band together on a local level, work on a local level, to help one another, whatever happens next.

There are small miracles on the way. Look for them. Expect them. Invite Spirit to work through your voice, your hands, your heart, your goodness, your intelligence, your kindness, your many, many talents to bring hope to your corner of the world.

Miracles can happen still. They are happening even as you read this. They are happening in you and around you: miracles of love, of compassion, of kindness, of goodness.

Divine Love has not abandoned you.

You ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

A Message From the Family: Heaven Can Wait

desert_sunriseNothing in physical reality maintains its form forever. This includes the shape of spacetime itself, if “shape” can be used to refer to a nonphysical, nontemporal probability construct in which the phenomena of energy and matter can form regular recurring patterns. Therefore degradation, delapidation, denigration, and devastation can seem stronger forces than those of re-emergence, recurrence, innovation, renewal, and resurrection. But “Death”, one of the Tarot’s Major Trumps cards, signifies not just endings, but the beginnings that spring from the endings. So a persistent, invasive terror of death, which at times in his life Mister Rand himself has felt, can actually hide a deeper terror: a terror of rebirth.

Stephen Levine, in his book, Who Dies?, observes that in his experience working with hospice patients, the persons who have been the most fearful of living are those who tend to be the most fearful of dying. For much of his life, Mister Rand has attempted to maintain a sometimes precarious existence on the borderlands of consensus reality—i.e., on the sidelines of life. This is because his early childhood experiences had taught him to expect that it was safest to be invisible. So he never developed the skills requisite for a thriving social life, and greatly feared intimacy, for the most nurturing person in Mister Rand’s childhood had also been one of the most abusive. Consequently, Mister Rand did not easily trust intimacy, as witness the fact that Mister Rand had only one romantic partner, the late Stuart “Alex” Lucker, who died two years into their relationship.

Since that time things have changed for Mister Rand. During his years in Santa Fe, attending a Twelve Step group for persons with eating disorders, he has learned to trust many of the persons he has met in his meetings, and some of them have become friends. In addition, his psychic work, and his … involvement with The Celebration, a leaderless Santa Fe spiritual group, has enriched his social life in ways he could only have dreamed of when he was younger and more frightened.

We say these things not to embarrass Mister Rand, nor to solicit pity for him, but to illustrate the limitations of fear-based thinking when considering all the richness of possibility that physical reality has to offer.

true_strength_is_nurturingIn your Bible it says of the story of redemption, “These things the angels themselves desire to look into.”  While in the original the Bible writers intended this sentence as a reference to the concept that Jesus of Nazareth was the Messiah or Savior of the world, we submit that it can also be employed to refer to physical reality itself—that unbodied spirits long to directly experience for themselves what life in physical reality is like.

What does physical reality have to offer that the nonphysical realities do not? This is an important question, because in your theologies, “Heaven”—being a reference to not only the intangible “afterlife” but also to the sky above your heads—is considered superior to “Earth”, the physical plane in all its manifestations. Yet there are some experiences only available in physical reality, and it is these experiences that the angels desire to look into. Some of these experiences include sensory experiences of light, sound, color, music, scent, texture, movement, and temperature; the pleasures of creativity through art; the pleasure of patient guided unfolding of a possibility as it changes into a reality; and the expansion of understanding triggered by incarnational experiences such as birth, sickness, romance, reproduction, child rearing, freedom fighting, [observing and interacting in love with animals, plants, and insects], and the recovery from illness. The experience of the passage of time itself is an experience that can only be enjoyed and benefitted from by those in physical reality.

rainbow_mosqueIn looking over our list, Mister Rand asks (. . .), “But is the joy that physical reality affords us worth the suffering it also affords us? What of the millions suffering unspeakable pain? How can smelling a flower offset the sheer weight of their dismay?” The answer, of course, is that a person dying of AIDS in a back alley needs consolation, water, food, medications, and supportive social interactions, not just the smelling of a flower. And since the hands of God are the hands of Mister Rand and those other spirits who have taken on flesh, seeking God’s will for assessing what help to give the dying person is the responsibility of Mister Rand and his acquaintances. For the joy of helping to relieve another’s suffering is another experience that only physical reality (and thought reality, its close sibling) can provide.

In the nonphysical realities, there is no sense of separation between Self and Other. Individuation does exist in the nonphysical, but it is individuation seen and felt always in its context of All-That-Is. In physical reality, where consciousness often appears limited to, or framed by, the brain organ, physical and emotional separation are regularly experienceable. So opportunities to reveal these separations as the illusions they are at core are precious, and if taken with care and awareness, yield exquisite experiential results.

So there is, in our opinion, a case to be made that Heaven is not superior to Earth; they are two sides of the same coin, different but equal. And Divine Love is present throughout both realities. Call upon It today to make Its presence known to you in your life as you really are just at this moment, and keep on calling upon it until you become aware of the answer. And we thank you for sharing today. •

— Channeled by Rand Lee, 11/2/16, 3:11:16 AM

A Message From “The Family”: On The Beloved Dead

Victorian_seance[On January 27, 1988, I walked into my love Stuart’s bedroom and found him dead on the bed. He and I had been lovers for only 2 years. We worked as psychics together in Key West, Florida and Santa Fe, New Mexico; we met originally when he came to me seeking Louise Hay-type guided meditations for boosting his immune system. One day, during such a meditation (which he claimed did indeed make him feel better), Stuart manifested a feminine information source he called “Alexandra” whose calm, understated manner was a stark contrast to his Aries exuberance.

[About a month before he died, Stuart—who was suffering from AIDS symptoms at a time before the current, longevity promoting, AIDS “cocktail” of meds had been developed— told me that he had dreamed he was in a coma in hospital, and that I was sitting beside his bed. He said that in the dream, I understood that it was so beautiful where he went when he was in deep trance, that someday he would not come back from there, and that I was OK with it. When I found his body that morning in 1988, I realized then that his account of his “dream” had been his way of letting me know he was planning to kill himself with a heavy injection of painkiller that he had been hoarding since his job as a med tech at Key West Island Hospital.

[The following channeling discusses my experiences regarding Stuart since his passing. -RL]

When Mister Rand first walked into the room where he found his lover’s body, he had no sooner set eyes upon Stuart’s prone form than he felt, floating somewhere near the ceiling on the lefthand side of the bedroom, two energies or consciousnesses. One of the consciousnesses was in fact that of Stuart, Rand’s lover; the other, that of the so-called “channeled entity” that 2 years previously had, at its first appearance, announced its name as “Alexandra”.

Now “Alexandra” was the feminine persona of the channeler, Stuart. In a sense, Mister Rand feels she is still present in his life; at other times she seems a very distant memory. Stuart himself feels to Mister Rand even more distant. Mister Rand’s younger brother, Jeffrey Robert Lee, died in 1990 from AIDS; his consciousness, by contrast with Stuart’s, seems much more present in Mister Rand’s life, particularly when Mister Rand is channeling or doing psychic readings for clients.

Why do some dead feel more present to us than others? The answers in part depend upon our ultimate view of reality. An atheist-materialist-ethicist [might] say that the memories of the dead, not the dead themselves, are present with us in direct proportion to how willing we have been to release those relationships and move on to new ones in physical reality—in other words, the more emotionally attached you are to the memory of your dead friend or relative, the more present they will seem to be. By contrast, a spiritualist might say that some dead feel more present to us than others because some of our dead have been willing to “move on”—detach from identification with their former self, former life, and former acquaintances (us)—and others of our dead have not.

We see the situation as possessing elements of both explanations. Let us say that Mister Yiffniff dies. At first, depending upon his spiritual practises in the life just ended, Yiffniff [may be] a bit disoriented; he may even feel that his death is a mistake, that he has so much “unfinished business” to attend to before he is ready to depart fully. Other, less conflicted individuals, may be ready to “move on” immediately—may be even glad that they have died, for now, if they wish, they can take on a new physical form in a new place or position in spacetime. Still other beloved dead may select to remain focused in our physical plane in order to keep watch over the physically living—to act, in a sense, as spirit guides to those whom they have loved and still do love. Mister Jeffrey, Mister Rand’s baby brother, is just such a one—committed,  as it were, to stay by Mister Rand’s side until it is time for them to become balls of joyous light together. Each case is different, however, and must be evaluated as objectively as possible by the psychic researcher. •

My Landlord’s Dog

EPSON scanner image

My landlord’s dog is a white female American bulldog named Julie. She is 8 years old, and exudes sweetness and love to such an extent that nearly everyone who meets her tells my landlord, whom I’ll call Jim, “If you ever decide to give her up, I’ll take her.” I rent a room in Jim’s house, and when my cat Urdwill was alive, Julie accepted him as one of the pack; if anything, he, not she, was the more aggressive and territorial of the two.

For the past few days I have been caring for Julie. About 4 days ago, Jim was taken to the hospital, where he has been ever since, with a cracked pelvis from a fall, a deep upper leg infection, and urinary difficulties. Jim is a very large man, and it took a four-man team of paramedics and firefighters to transport him from the upper tier of the bunk bed where he sleeps down to the gurney they had waiting for him. When I spoke to him on the telephone yesterday, he sounded disoriented and frightened. In his deep bass voice he said, “I’ve never felt so helpless before.”

I can believe it. Jim is 74, with a lifetime of international sales, business ownership, and professional rugby behind him. When I met him, about 2 years ago, he had been reduced to spending most of his time in a chair in front of his large screen TV, watching sports programs. I learned that some years back he developed a brain embolism that impaired his hearing, eyesight, balance, short term memory, and completely erased his sense of smell, which in turn has reduced considerably his ability to taste anything. A Type Two diabetic, and a heavy nighttime vodka-and-cranberry-juice-cocktail drinker, he is also a hoarder. Nearly every square inch of his house is filled with sports equipment, boxes of books, clothing, heaps of old bills and letters, tools, memorabilia, and trash, and the yards around his house sport several huge, inoperative vehicles, including a chartreuse van and two trucks, one of which has a mobile hot tub attached to it. (In the Seventies, Jim used to drive this rig around Santa Fe, renting it out to partying hippies.)

Despite his brain damage and short term memory loss, Jim notices at once if anything new appears in his vicinity, or if anything is thrown away or moved from one spot to another. “Is that your towel on the washing machine?” he asks. “Did you move that [tiny scarlet] tag from the desk to the side table?” Severely depressed, he goes to bed around midnight and gets up around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. “It just doesn’t seem worth it most days to get out of bed,” he told me.

Jim is on Medicare, and has had a string of caseworkers who come by now and again, disappear, and are replaced by new caseworkers. This is not because Jim is a difficult client to deal with; he is remarkably sweet tempered for a man with his background and in his condition. It’s because New Mexico, one of the poorest states of the Union, does not allocate much money to social services, and typically caseworkers are paid little, overworked, and overscrutinized by middle management longtermers anxious not to lose their jobs. Still, it’s a good thing Jim has Medicare, as he tells me he will be in hospital for at least another week, and in the meantime I am more or less in charge of taking care of Julie. “She misses you a lot, Jim,” I told him. “I miss her a lot, too,” he said, and his voice broke.

I find myself grieving, for Jim’s pain, certainly, but also for my own. My father, pictured above, was a big man, too, with a bass voice, and like Jim had little liking or talent for asking for help. Tonight I miss my father keenly. I was scared of him, much of the time, and angry with him, much of the time, and yearned for his approval and acceptance all of the time. He filled the house I grew up in with his presence just as Bill fills this house with his, and after my father died, of the last in a string of heart attacks back in 1971, the house loomed vast and empty without him in it.

I have no reason to believe that Jim will die, not this time, anyhow, though the events of the past week are clearly a wakeup call for him: change your ways of handling your pain, or make a humiliating, and possibly protracted, exit, stage right. But however long he is in hospital or rehab, and however many changes must take place in his house for it to accommodate his new fragilities, for now, I am here with his dog Julie; and our hearts, both hers and mine, are aching. •